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jazzcat621

jazzcat621

My heart for the whole world
Jun 30, 2025
70
How do you find interest in life again after everything stopped mattering to you? I was about to ctb after losing interest in everything, but then I found a partner who genuinely means something to me. Now I want to live, but I cant do anything but lay in bed for whole days. Games, sex, drugs, hobbies, none of it interests me.
 
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Hvergelmir

Mage
May 5, 2024
579
I rarely say this, but I think meds might be the way to go.
There's no meaning in a vacuum. Meaning comes from your engagement with something. Psychiatric drugs could help with that initial boost, engaging things.

You might also be able to force yourself to do things, eventually arriving at a sense of meaning, but it sounds like you've tried.
 
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Lions303

Lions303

Blessed
Aug 24, 2025
73
How do you find interest in life again after everything stopped mattering to you? I was about to ctb after losing interest in everything, but then I found a partner who genuinely means something to me. Now I want to live, but I cant do anything but lay in bed for whole days. Games, sex, drugs, hobbies, none of it interests me.
Tough question which I definitely struggle with too so im sorry I don't have a direct answer for you. May I ask does your partner know? (Please if anything crosses a boundary then I dont mean to cross and ofc don't answer) A phrase I found which you might relate to is 'existing not living' do you find that is accurate? Is there anything that does interest you? Writing, reading, movies, tv series or anything ou do like doing?
 
jazzcat621

jazzcat621

My heart for the whole world
Jun 30, 2025
70
Tough question which I definitely struggle with too so im sorry I don't have a direct answer for you. May I ask does your partner know? (Please if anything crosses a boundary then I dont mean to cross and ofc don't answer) A phrase I found which you might relate to is 'existing not living' do you find that is accurate? Is there anything that does interest you? Writing, reading, movies, tv series or anything ou do like doing?
My partners know everything, they know im here and how close I am to death. As for that phrase, that's absolutely what I feel. Before this i used to enjoy games, legos, traveling, meeting people, partying, etc, but now everythinf just feels gray and I feel numb. I can get into a game i enjoy for a few hours, but after that I just have to sleep. Id be sleeping all day if it weren't for my partners
I rarely say this, but I think meds might be the way to go.
There's no meaning in a vacuum. Meaning comes from your engagement with something. Psychiatric drugs could help with that initial boost, engaging things.

You might also be able to force yourself to do things, eventually arriving at a sense of meaning, but it sounds like you've tried.
im on meds, they've worked for a while. Pristiq, vyvanse, and spravato weekly
 
Lions303

Lions303

Blessed
Aug 24, 2025
73
My partners know everything, they know im here and how close I am to death. As for that phrase, that's absolutely what I feel. Before this i used to enjoy games, legos, traveling, meeting people, partying, etc, but now everythinf just feels gray and I feel numb. I can get into a game i enjoy for a few hours, but after that I just have to sleep. Id be sleeping all day if it weren't for my partners
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Its a good thing that you've been able to open up to your partner, what was their reaction? Are they supportive? Ah okay, reason I asked that was because ive been looking into Alexithymia and might be useful for you to look into as well. It really helped me understand what was happening. Id really recommend taking a look and see it that relates to you. I'm proud of you for wanting to live :hug:
 
lainduster

lainduster

burden
Apr 10, 2023
22
How do you find interest in life again after everything stopped mattering to you? I was about to ctb after losing interest in everything, but then I found a partner who genuinely means something to me. Now I want to live, but I cant do anything but lay in bed for whole days. Games, sex, drugs, hobbies, none of it interests me.
I find that the best way to deal with that is to take it one step at a time. One veeeeeery tiny step. I'm guilty of not following my advice right now (planning to real soon) but a few years back when absolutely nothing mattered to me I just decided I would do one small thing a day, even if I didn't enjoy it at first, which can in turn lead to more stuff you find fun. For example, in my case I chose to simply walk a little bit and explore a tiny bit more of my city every night. I was 16 and had no clue where anything was apart from school. That walking soon turned into taking pictures of kitties. Any kitty I saw on the street I would take a picture of. From then on I started to think about how I could fill up my time while walking (without thinking about it consciously) and I started expanding my music taste and listening to different music on my walks. Then I moved on to readings books when taking a break from walking, looking for clothes and so on and so on. You get the picture I hope, just like with how you can keep spiraling down and feeling more and more miserable you can also start feeling better and better like rolling a snowball down a hill. Ofcourse it's a lot harder to do, especially with this emptiness but it's totally doable. What really helps me is the thought that I don't need to rush it. I constantly feel like i'm running out of time and I want to make extreme changes all the time and have tons of impulsive decisions I want to make but I'm sure thats not healthy at all, so just try to take things as slow as you need to, maybe even slower than you think. Take deeper breaths, longer cigarette puffs, stare into the scenery infront even for half a second longer, walk slower, take breaks while walking like maybe sit on a bench for a little bit. I hope my writing is understandable but to summarise just in case: find something easy to do (and if possible something you enjoy doing), do it every day, build up from it into other different habits and remember that you are in no rush and can take things slow, no matter how hectic and stressful life might feel like sometimes. I'm sorry for the bad writing but I hope this could be helpful to you :)
 

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