Feeling unwelcomed.

[ForsakenDial]

Does anyone else feel unwelcomed everywhere they go? Despite what they may do, or where they go, they will always be an outcast and hated? Its all I know.

 

[DurkheimsCat]

Yes and then when someone is kind I'm so shocked and that disparity illuminates my unhappiness even more.

 

[seaweed]

yes, i assume i just get talked about after for something they didnt like about myself. kindness just feels like someone wants something to gain

 

[jazzcat]

yes. I feel like people can tell that there's something wrong with me almost immediately

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

This sounds like an unhealthy offshoot of the spotlight effect—we tend to greatly overestimate how much we're being noticed by others, when in reality most people are focused on themselves. The rather nasty twist here comes from the belief that others not only notice you, but actively dislike you. This belief can end up tainting any social interactions you have, because you're already primed for judgment and rejection and your attitude can come off as defensive or rude. Since the other person is likely to be feeling the spotlight effect to some degree, they might feel like you don't like them or don't want to interact, leading to a vicious cycle of unpleasant social encounters.

Some people have the social skills to make everyone feel welcome and appreciated the moment they start interacting, but this is not the case generally in my experience. It's not that everyone actively hates you, they are just focused on themselves and won't go out of their way to have a pleasant interaction with you unless they have a reason to do so.

 

[Watlock]

Yes and then when someone is kind I'm so shocked and that disparity illuminates my unhappiness even more.

Or I think they're just being nice because they feel bad for me. Like they have some sort obligation to be nice to me.