Feeling Abandoned

[Zeus35]

I bonded with a police officer who really helped me. I used to emotionally abuse the officer. I feel bad for it and it wasn't the officers fault . I was being abused myself and I took out my emotional abuse on people in general. I sent a Christmas card to the police officer's place of work . I saw someone else signed for it . I've been checking my emails and have received no response like a thank you . I don't know what to think because I haven't heard from the officer in months and I feel that I might have pushed the person away.

 

[CTB Dream]

Interacti human ful problem make, cycle abuse suffer real sorry happen all suffer human, hurt make hurt loop

 

[Venus13]

The number one reason is probably just maintaining a professional boundary. I'm sure if you saw them they'd happily say hello.

 

[theboy]

why did you do that

 

[Zeus35]

why did you do that

Do what? Given be the officer a card? Because we used to be close?

 

[murphyy]

I think the card is a really sweet gesture, very thoughtful and nice of you. I'm sure the officer appreciated it, even if he didn't respond.

 

[Zeus35]

I think the card is a really sweet gesture, very thoughtful and nice of you. I'm sure the officer appreciated it, even if he didn't respond.

You really think so? (your comment has made me feel better as I felt sad before )

 

[theboy]

I bonded with a police officer who really helped me. I used to emotionally abuse the officer. I feel bad for it and it wasn't the officers fault . I was being abused myself and I took out my emotional abuse on people in general. I sent a Christmas card to the police officer's place of work . I saw someone else signed for it . I've been checking my emails and have received no response like a thank you . I don't know what to think because I haven't heard from the officer in months and I feel that I might have pushed the person away.

no. abuse

 

[Zeus35]

no. abuse

It was because I had been abused from a very young age. Sexually , physically ,emotionally and neglected . I'd also grown up in foster care. I'd be going through stalking, domestic abuse and harassment at the hands of a paedophile who'd abused me. Some of my neighbours were racist and I was extremely stressed. I didn't feel safe in my home because of my neighbours (some were sweet but there were others who weren't ) and I didn't feel safe in general because if the stalking and harassment. I was stressed , miserable and depressed . So I became quite an angry person because I felt so helpless in my own life. Therefore , I was verbally/emotionally abusive to everyone in my life (not just the officer) I lost a lot of relationships as a result. I'd also been living in severe poverty too which added to my stress. Ie, I slept on the stone cold floor with a duvet and waited months for a washing machine and fridge freezer and a bed. I think it was eight months before I actually got any curtains . I was poor, stressed and because I was hurt I hurt others. I'm not proud of it I feel terribly guilty but I just wanted to be kind that's all because I have changed now. I'm also living a better life now.

 

[makethepainstop]

It was because I had been abused from a very young age. Sexually , physically ,emotionally and neglected . I'd also grown up in foster care. I'd be going through stalking, domestic abuse and harassment at the hands of a paedophile who'd abused me. Some of my neighbours were racist and I was extremely stressed. I didn't feel safe in my home because of my neighbours (some were sweet but there were others who weren't ) and I didn't feel safe in general because if the stalking and harassment. I was stressed , miserable and depressed . So I became quite an angry person because I felt so helpless in my own life. Therefore , I was verbally/emotionally abusive to everyone in my life (not just the officer) I lost a lot of relationships as a result. I'd also been living in severe poverty too which added to my stress. Ie, I slept on the stone cold floor with a duvet and waited months for a washing machine and fridge freezer and a bed. I think it was eight months before I actually got any curtains . I was poor, stressed and because I was hurt I hurt others. I'm not proud of it I feel terribly guilty but I just wanted to be kind that's all because I have changed now. I'm also living a better life now.

Money can make so many things so much better. Mental pain is almost as bad as financial pain. I am so sorry you experienced such things.