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H

Heart Shards

The shards of my broken heart cut deep.
Feb 3, 2019
535
So my dad locked away my firearms. I've been hospitalized seven times. He claims I'm unstable, I don't disagree. Morning when he left for work I took the nail file from some nail cilppers, jiggled them for a bit and turned the key hole, the safe opened in a instant. I put a shell in the shotgun placed it in my mouth at my brainstem. My finger placed on the trigger but I couldn't pull. Fucking SI man! but I have one positive thing about me. I feel like a mcguyver! I can try again when I feel the time is right. Having the sure option of dying is relieving.
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Win/win: your family believes you don't have access to the guns, so they can relax and be more pleasant around you, while you know you still have access to the guns and can relax a little bit yourself.

And yes, SI is a bitch. I have been just where you were, unable to move my finger that last 3/4".
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,011
That's awesome and I agree with @TiredHorse here. This is a good situation to be in, the knowledge that you have access to your firearms when you want to and your father being oblivious to the fact that you have found a loophole (no pun intended) to the safe. As for the SI, I can't really say what it would take, but it will vary from individual to individual. I have yet to actually put a loaded shotgun into my mouth, but I'm sure under the right circumstances, catalysts, and what not, I'm very confident that I myself would overcome my SI (again can only speak for myself and under assumption).
 
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