Venting Feel like I’m not built for this world

[nothirdact]

Obligatory intro: 26F, lesbian, autistic, on anti-depressants since I was 13/14

I know, I know. Everyone struggles sometimes. But I feel like everyone around me is a functioning adult and I'm just…not. I love my job, but I'm anxious before every shift. I pay my bills, keep my house clean. But I still don't feel like a real person. I don't think I'm going to make it. Even if I'm "fine" now, eventually I'll collapse. I never know how to share any of this with my therapist because I don't want to go to inpatient again and put my life on hold. I just think I wasn't meant to be alive. I'm too mentally frail.

 

[R. A.]

(really hope your pfp wasn't a random choice you don't know anything about, cause this'll be weird if so...)

Far more people than you might think feel the same or similar, and not just on this forum. Late-stage capitalism is crushing 90% of people under it - I say this as there's nothing 'unusual' about your struggle; it's unfortunately extremely common.
But it still is a struggle, sorry for you being in it

 

[nothirdact]

View attachment 179400

(really hope your pfp wasn't a random choice you don't know anything about, cause this'll be weird if so...)

Far more people than you might think feel the same or similar, and not just on this forum. Late-stage capitalism is crushing 90% of people under it - I say this as there's nothing 'unusual' about your struggle; it's unfortunately extremely common.
But it still is a struggle, sorry for you being in it

Ace attorney is my favorite series lol.

But yeah, I know a lot of people feel the way I do. It just sucks being scared all the time.

 

[kopebaldy]

It feels like no matter how much I keep walking, I always fall behind.

Everyone has a destination in mind or at least a direction to go, and I just walking to nowhere.

Maybe life just isn't for some people.

 

[aztexi]

It feels like no matter how much I keep walking, I always fall behind.

Everyone has a destination in mind or at least a direction to go, and I just walking to nowhere.

Maybe life just isn't for some people.

I feel you. It's so weird to see everyone has their destination in life, have purposes, etc.

While we're here, falling behind. But not only that, at some point, i might just fall and never tried to even continue.

Big hugs!

 

[nothirdact]

I feel you. It's so weird to see everyone has their destination in life, have purposes, etc.

While we're here, falling behind. But not only that, at some point, i might just fall and never tried to even continue.

Big hugs!

I sometimes feel like I've found my purpose. But the feeling doesn't last. Like if I've found it it wouldn't be painful to go do that thing 90% of the time.

 

[Hollowman]

I collapsed hopefully you won't.

 

[unluckysadness]

I don't feel like a real person too. I'm neurodivergent and probably autistic too.
We were born in the wrong world I guess...

 

[58Alice85]

same here, this world runs on pure torment

 

[DontCryForChimp]

I feel like this all the time. Everyone else just seems to magically know what to do, where to go, how to act. No matter how much I mimic these people it never feels right. It just isn't right for common life experiences to still feel so alien. I've had decades to marinate in it but I just don't seem to fit. At some point I just have to conclude that I am simply a parody of a human being. Opening up about these things irl (from my experience) just ended up further alienating me. Life is not meant for everyone.