Feel cut off from the world

[Need_friends]

Hi. Happy to find a community. I have thought about offing myself constantly since I was a teenager, decades ago. I am in the autistic spectrum and suffer from depression and anxiety on top (recently more anxiety than depression). Being in the AS makes me very estranged from humans. I have no friends, just family - wife and son. As it turns out, my wife became my sole connection to the World. Whenever she is mad at me and not talking, the suicide thoughts start to dominate. It is usually for a few hours, but now it has been days, and I am totally obsessed with thouse thoughts.

Please someone talk to me. Ask questions, share your story, whatever. I don't have a suicide hotline in the country I am in. And anyway I think I would rather talk to someone who know intimately what I am going through.

 

[timf]

There is a web site wrongplanet.net that has a forum section and some have found help with particular areas of ASD skill development.

Friendship is a tricky business. 100 years ago before transportation technology really took off and families became so small, most people had their siblings and cousins as their friends.

Today the person who has a prominent social position, wealth, or is entertaining often finds that "friends" are attracted to them.

Today we live in an age where how one feels is a pretty big deal. As a result, many potential friendships fail because of insufficient good feelings not to mention bad feelings. ASD people tend to not get the feelings things always right and often find failed friendships.

Without familial connection there is little to seal a bond of friendship that can withstand the mistakes we all make.

It can be helpful to join a group that has a common task like volunteer work, a book club, a political group, or a church. The common element can make finding friendships a little easier.