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enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
364
Facing some very scary prospects come July which I fear enough to make me plan to CTB.

But I also fear all the pain and panic that come with CTB. I don't have access to benzos and I fear the moment when physical pain, discomfort, SI and inevitable regrets kick in.

Everything is horrible. I just don't feel ready to live or die. If only I could be put down with N.
 
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dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
695
SN is relatively peaceful way to go :( I know it's scary but it's definitely something you're able to go through. I don't want to encourage you, of course, but me for example, I try to think about it as something that will most likely pass within 15 minutes and that's all it takes to stop endless pain here on earth.
 
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Mebius

Mebius

Student
Jun 13, 2024
183
I think SN doesnt give you any or much physical pain but the anxiety and tachycardia can be really excruciating. My own experience ingesting 7g i felt zero pain.
 
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enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
364
Thank you for your reassurance. I have a chronic illness that gives me tachycardia and I find fainting from that pretty scary, I've had a thyroid storm before and it was very unpleasant. I don't think I can handle discomfort and pain on top of something like that.
 
Mebius

Mebius

Student
Jun 13, 2024
183
Thank you for your reassurance. I have a chronic illness that gives me tachycardia and I find fainting from that pretty scary, I've had a thyroid storm before and it was very unpleasant. I don't think I can handle discomfort and pain on top of something like that.
you can use beta blockers to prevent tachycardia, i would probably recommend maybe ingesting 2000mg of propanolol. dont know if this is overkill though, i took 900mg and i experienced no tachycardia at all. But i guess since propanolol and sn have synergetic effect, taking that amount of propanolol probably helps anyway?
 
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enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
364
you can use beta blockers to prevent tachycardia, i would probably recommend maybe ingesting 2000mg of propanolol. dont know if this is overkill though, i took 900mg and i experienced no tachycardia at all. But i guess since propanolol and sn have synergetic effect, taking that amount of propanolol probably helps anyway?
Thanks for sharing your experience, that is good to know. I don't have propanolol, just 75mg of bisoprolol ):
 
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