Help Fear of failing an attempt

[willitpass]

I'm so ready to go but the only thing stopping me is the fear of failing. i've survived attempted hanging and drowning and both times ended me in the hospital. i've been hospitalized 6 times in 3 years and i've been told that if i attempt again i will end up in residential. i'm ready to die but i'm sure as hell not ready to leave my entire life behind for months of inpatient therapy if i don't succeed. i don't know how to shake that fear and just say fuck it and ctb

 

[Arrow]

there's no rush man; if you're very worried about failing there's probably a better chance that you'll fail again. wait until you're in a calmer state of mind and then really think about this, because messing up can make everything far worse.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

I feel the same. The only things holding me here are fear of failure and the guilt i feel now for whoever finds me. I paid for a therapy session to discuss my guilt issues thinking it would help me to ctb but the therapist was nice and now I'm really confused. I know I have nothing to live for and I know I can't take another stay in a psych ward. I'm just in turmoil and my attempts to solve it just make me more confused