I don't know if it's hypocritical or contradictory.
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease. The doctor told me that sooner or later, I would need surgery. My parents even told me that my grandfather died from what I have.
Even since adolescence, I felt apart, sad, and had thoughts of killing myself. Lately, I have been feeling down, and I'm just planning to CTB.
But when I received the notice that I had this disease, I remember I was afraid of dying, and I even cried because I felt like I was going to die. Sometimes I even think deeply of dying because of the disease, and don't know, I have some fear of dying, fear about what happens afterwards.
So is it hypocritical to be afraid while wanting to kill myself?
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease. The doctor told me that sooner or later, I would need surgery. My parents even told me that my grandfather died from what I have.
Even since adolescence, I felt apart, sad, and had thoughts of killing myself. Lately, I have been feeling down, and I'm just planning to CTB.
But when I received the notice that I had this disease, I remember I was afraid of dying, and I even cried because I felt like I was going to die. Sometimes I even think deeply of dying because of the disease, and don't know, I have some fear of dying, fear about what happens afterwards.
So is it hypocritical to be afraid while wanting to kill myself?
