Fear of being found out

[Painless_end]

Trying to attempt full hanging.

Was afraid of being found out by family who are outside currently but could return any minute or some time later.

Decided to not attempt.

Self analysis : too coward to end it

 

[Lady black]

Feel yourself hugged, this Feelings are really shit, but it´s not easy to doe if you are not 100% ready

 

[Painless_end]

Yes I want to end it and escape this reality but it's too overwhelming for me to just hang myself and do it.

 

[Ghost2211]

I think it was smart to wait if people could come back. If someone "saves" you during hanging it could lead to very poor quality of life.

 

[Painless_end]

I think it was smart to wait if people could come back. If someone "saves" you during hanging it could lead to very poor quality of life.

No one could save me, the door is locked from the inside.

But I want my attempt to be clean and without disturbance. I don't want anyone ringing the bell while I try to hang. Undisturbed mental state is important to me. Also I am too coward to end it so it's really hard to summon the willpower to do it if I keep fearing that someone could ring the door bell while I'm at it.

If the rope I'm using was to be tied too tightly it could take several seconds to unfasten it and that would lead to uncomfortable questions about why i didn't answer the door straight away.

They can't know I'm attempting.

 

[death137]

Sorry but there is another day to make an attempt so try not to feel very down.

 

[botanormal]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much, but please don't blame yourself for being scared. Choosing to ctb is a very difficult decision, and it goes against everything our bodies are naturally telling us to do. If you're worried about people returning, or distracting you by knocking at your door, then perhaps now isn't the best time. It's important you can feel completely comfortable with your choice. There's never any shame in waiting until the time is best for you. You're not a coward, you're human. Sending you big hugs!

 

[PointlessStruggle]

It happens. Very difficult to do, not uncommon.

 

[Lady black]

Your day will come, don´t be sad

 

[Painless_end]

Your day will come, don´t be sad

I have been hoping for the same thing since a long time.

But my psychological limitations and neurological problems are neither letting me live nor die in peace.

 

[Lady black]

But one day it will come true for you

 

[Sleepysam25]

fear of getting found is crippling especially if there are kids involved.