Fear of abandonment.

[Heart Shards]

I struggle with constant fear of abandonment. If I get on Facebook, I'll search my whole friend list to make sure no unfriended me. SS is the same way, I'll make sure someone hasn't unfollowed me. People never talking to me again is one of my biggest fears. A lot of people have been in my life throughout the years, and all left me, alone in my own putrid shit of insecurity. Feelings that people will take interest for a short time and then abandon me flood my mind. Do people not understand the damage of pretending to care and then flaking on them, time and time again causes severe psychological damage, or do they simply not care? I assume the second. It's one of the reasons I find life difficult to persevere for. The constant fear that I'll be thrown in the trash, just to be picked up by someone else, and thrown away when they get bored of me. and then If i'd CTB, they suddenly would care. They didn't give a shit when I was alive. I fear I'm so psychologically damaged, therapy and drugs can't fix me. Thanks for listening, Willow.

 

[megafire]

i think it's just people are so preoccupied with themselves that anyone outside of a few select devoted friends/family is disposable. i wish i could figure out the secret to being more keep-able though.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think I feel this quite often. To avoid abandonment, I often try to make people more mad at me so that I can at least see the abandonment coming and not get blindsided by it...

I think being somewhat abandoned recently just made it worse.

 

[_Kaira_]

I have similarly the same problem. I am terrified of being abandoned. And yet I am so self-destructive, that I sabotage every single relationship (romantic or otherwise) I'm ever in. It sucks. I don't understand why I chase away those that I love, even when I claim to fear them leaving to begin with.