Discussion Fantasy suicide

[sohopelessandempty]

We all fantasize about it obviously but does anyone have that in the literal sense? Like it's called fantasy suicide because it is unrealistic. Like fantasizing about a suicide that's quick and painless and easy and it goes exactly how you want, or you could just disappear and nobody would notice, whatever you want. Stuff that is unrealistic and you know it wouldn't play out that way in real life, that real death doesn't work that way, but a romanticized, comforting version. People say suicide shouldn't be romanticized and I get that, I don't say this to encourage others. However, I'm saying romanticizing it in your head is like a sweet escape. Not even suicide can be how we want. But you can pretend. All I ever do is pretend. Such a peaceful sleep. I could disappear, evaporate, be another speck of dust in the air, floating away. Forgotten, or better yet, it's as if I never existed to begin with. Everyone's lives stay the same. The world stays the same. Things go on like normal. And I am gone, in peace. Never having to feel this pain again. I've been thinking about writing about a fantasy death but worried I'll get cancelled over the romanticization, but maybe here it won't be treated that way. I don't want to tell other what to do, I just want to get it out there somewhere and maybe it'll also be comforting for others to read. And to imagine. I want to write about an impossible, peaceful suicide. So peaceful. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I want it to be the last time I close them. The last sleep. Eternal slumber…

 

[- crybaby -]

Hm, I had many scenarios in my mind ,many methods / scenes playing over and over throughout the years .
But if we're talking fantasy ..
First .. make sure everyone hates me, loathes me so when before I go .. I know for a fact they'd smile knowing I'm gone .
I'd spend my last 24 hours trying every fucking drug on earth ,feeling each high and die of overdose somewhere out in the nature ,by the river .. oh and cherry on top ;while orgasming .

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Hm, I had many scenarios in my mind ,many methods / scenes playing over and over throughout the years .
But if we're talking fantasy ..
First .. make sure everyone hates me, loathes me so when before I go .. I know for a fact they'd smile knowing I'm gone .
I'd spend my last 24 hours trying every fucking drug on earth ,feeling each high and die of overdose somewhere out in the nature ,by the river .. oh and cherry on top ;while orgasming .

I just spent a couple minutes writing a fantasy, idk if it's exactly what I want but it was meant for a wider appeal, although I don't think you'd like that specific fantasy based on this haha.

 

[- crybaby -]

It's each to their own , right?

 

[sohopelessandempty]

It's each to their own , right?

Yeah!

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

i understand i think and i also view suicide as a "fantasy". a lot of people are worried about the consequences of their ctb, disturbing people or being found and hurting their family. it sounds bad but i'm not afraid of those factors. ctb for me is finally achieving peace, eternal nothingness. there might not be any happiness but there's no sadness either. ive always been attracted to the idea of feeling nothing and being in peace. i love sleeping, because i feel like that's the closest i'll get to that feeling. when i wake up, i feel dread and wish i could just go back to sleep.

I've been thinking about writing about a fantasy death but worried I'll get cancelled over the romanticization, but maybe here it won't be treated that way.

you should definitely write about it and post it here, i'm sure it'll be well received and it would help many people feel seen!

 

[sohopelessandempty]

i understand i think and i also view suicide as a "fantasy". a lot of people are worried about the consequences of their ctb, disturbing people or being found and hurting their family. it sounds bad but i'm not afraid of those factors. ctb for me is finally achieving peace, eternal nothingness. there might not be any happiness but there's no sadness either. ive always been attracted to the idea of feeling nothing and being in peace. i love sleeping, because i feel like that's the closest i'll get to that feeling. when i wake up, i feel dread and wish i could just go back to sleep.

you should definitely write about it and post it here, i'm sure it'll be well received and it would help many people feel seen!

I wrote about it a few minutes ago!!! You should be able to find it somewhere in suicide discussion, let me know what you think. I used to have a huge passion for writing, maybe I should get back into it. Also based on the other things you said, I think you'd love my take on the whole suicide fantasy thing.

 

[- crybaby -]

I wrote about it a few minutes ago!!! You should be able to find it somewhere in suicide discussion, let me know what you think. I used to have a huge passion for writing, maybe I should get back into it.

On it

 

[scary]

I wish I could just lay in bed one day and some part in my brain knows to shut down and make me dead instantly in a quick and painless way, or a button I could press that'd do the same thing. Burning charcoal while laying down is probably the closest ill get to achieving that though.

 

[wine is fine but]

i fantasise over it
have acted it out at times, not so much lately, but definitely in my younger years
still let the head slump forward with the death stare occasionally; the death stare on it's own more than just occasionally - although i try to not do any of it with others around

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I wish I could just lay in bed one day and some part in my brain knows to shut down and make me dead instantly in a quick and painless way, or a button I could press that'd do the same thing. Burning charcoal while laying down is probably the closest ill get to achieving that though.

I wish for the same thing. We have survival instinct but not a built in ability to peacefully die. Call me crazy but it might've even been a helpful thing to exist in evolution, that if someone is in too great pain, too awful of a situation, etc etc, the brain knows to kill itself to protect us from the threat. But instead we just have survival instinct which has caused a lot of us distress and more suffering.

 

[scary]

I wish for the same thing. We have survival instinct but not a built in ability to peacefully die. Call me crazy but it might've even been a helpful thing to exist in evolution, that if someone is in too great pain, too awful of a situation, etc etc, the brain knows to kill itself to protect us from the threat. But instead we just have survival instinct which has caused a lot of us distress and more suffering.

Animals like Exploding Ants are able to "self destruct" themselves to protect themselves and their colony but of course that kind of evolutionary advantage is mostly limited to smaller less advanced animals and not something like humans. Survival Instincts are a double edged sword that can lead to more grief and misery I agree. I also wish people were able to just spontaneously die as a defense mechanism, but unfortunately staying alive to do things like passing genes is what the human brain is hardwired to do.

 

[chaoschuckler]

Mine is possible in real world but not for me in particular, so i can call it a fantasy
I wanna die hugging a woman like this:

https://videos.watchpeopledie.tv/17033690077027779.mp4

Nobody hugged me ever, so let me experience it atleast before i die but it's not gonna happen and that's okay!

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Mine is possible in real world but not for me in particular, so i can call it a fantasy
I wanna die hugging a woman like this:

https://videos.watchpeopledie.tv/17033690077027779.mp4

Nobody hugged me ever, so let me experience it atleast before i die but it's not gonna happen and that's okay!

Not watching this since I have a fear of actually watching people die but it sounds sweet to die in someone's arms! I hope you get a hug one day. Come to think of it, I also think it would be comforting to die in someone's arms however this is impossible for me irl and I wouldn't want someone to watch me anyway. But for my life force to slowly fade away, while I lay in the arms of someone I love, sounds like a dream. Maybe you gave me a new fantasy lol.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Mine is possible in real world but not for me in particular, so i can call it a fantasy
I wanna die hugging a woman like this:

https://videos.watchpeopledie.tv/17033690077027779.mp4

Nobody hugged me ever, so let me experience it atleast before i die but it's not gonna happen and that's okay!

I don't want to watch someone die, especially when I'm in public place, so would you mind describing the video for me?

We all fantasize about it obviously but does anyone have that in the literal sense? Like it's called fantasy suicide because it is unrealistic. Like fantasizing about a suicide that's quick and painless and easy and it goes exactly how you want, or you could just disappear and nobody would notice, whatever you want. Stuff that is unrealistic and you know it wouldn't play out that way in real life, that real death doesn't work that way, but a romanticized, comforting version. People say suicide shouldn't be romanticized and I get that, I don't say this to encourage others. However, I'm saying romanticizing it in your head is like a sweet escape. Not even suicide can be how we want. But you can pretend. All I ever do is pretend. Such a peaceful sleep. I could disappear, evaporate, be another speck of dust in the air, floating away. Forgotten, or better yet, it's as if I never existed to begin with. Everyone's lives stay the same. The world stays the same. Things go on like normal. And I am gone, in peace. Never having to feel this pain again. I've been thinking about writing about a fantasy death but worried I'll get cancelled over the romanticization, but maybe here it won't be treated that way. I don't want to tell other what to do, I just want to get it out there somewhere and maybe it'll also be comforting for others to read. And to imagine. I want to write about an impossible, peaceful suicide. So peaceful. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I want it to be the last time I close them. The last sleep. Eternal slumber…

So much, I'm constantly imagining my own death. Hell, sometimes I'll imagine what will happen when someone finds my body, or what I'll look like on the autopsy table.

If I could have it any way I want, I'd die somewhere like Alaska, in the snow, surrounded by trees and listening to the owls come out as dusk approaches.
However, I do not live in Alaska or anywhere near snow that I can get to easily (once I get SN, I'm planning on scouting out a few areas in nature to do it), so I'll probably find a hiking trail in a forest and go off trail just enough that no one will find me in the middle of it. I want to die completely alone, no other people around.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I don't want to watch someone die, especially when I'm in public place, so would you mind describing the video for me?

So much, I'm constantly imagining my own death. Hell, sometimes I'll imagine what will happen when someone finds my body, or what I'll look like on the autopsy table.

If I could have it any way I want, I'd die somewhere like Alaska, in the snow, surrounded by trees and listening to the owls come out as dusk approaches.
However, I do not live in Alaska or anywhere near snow that I can get to easily (once I get SN, I'm planning on scouting out a few areas in nature to do it), so I'll probably find a hiking trail in a forest and go off trail just enough that no one will find me in the middle of it. I want to die completely alone, no other people around.

It's sad how most of us will never get our "dream deaths". Also, another person who doesn't want to watch people die!!! Seems less common on a suicide forum but despite my longing for death just the thought of actually watching it gives me a strange feeling, and a lot of other reasons. That's why I'd also like to hear the description instead

 

[KnightOfSwords]

I'd love to go someplace scenic and have the ability to just dissolve into dust or other particles and merge with air/water/soil. Maybe transfer the energy of my body into the world, this must be a hella lot of kJs

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I'd love to go someplace scenic and have the ability to just dissolve into dust or other particles and merge with air/water/soil. Maybe transfer the energy of my body into the world, this must be a hella lot of kJs

THE DISSOLVING INTO DUST OMG IVE ALSO ALWAYS IMAGINED THAT, to finally be free and fade away with the wind.