baptist6
Member
- Mar 2, 2026
- 5
At the start of last month I had been prescribed Zoloft by my psychiatrist. I have always suffered with depression, overthinking and impulsive anxiety. So the initial first week of any type of SSRI typically increases ur anxiety due to ur serotonin receptors firing all at once. However the day before I started my Zoloft my girlfriend had broke up with me because of my "mental health". Honestly fucking stupid because she knew I had scheduled the appointment for a psychiatrist, and had been going to therapy, shit I've never done before ever. During this first week I was so distressed, she immediately went to her ex's house, which made me feel useless, like our 2 year relationship was for nothing and that I didn't matter to her. I don't want to go into the little details but yeah. I've always felt like shit, always have wanted to end my life. In 2022 I had cut every inch of my body in a crazed attempt to ctb, and went to psych ward for 2 weeks. No one even cared for the mental state I was in. "You have support around you" but then when someone asks "how are you" and I say "not good" they don't say anything or they'll say "just let me know how I can help" then when I let them know they make me feel like shit for it. Idk maybe I'm just fucked up in the mind. Anyways, after a week on the zoloft, my head was so fucked up that I took every single pill of a 90 day, 25mg supply. over 2,000 mgs. I was in a college private study room and got caught seizing on cameras, which alerted someone to call 911. Spent about a week in the hospital, masked my mental state pretty well. Went home on medical withdrawal from school. And now Im here, about a week later, still looking for a way out that can actually work, because no matter what, no matter how much help I get, I will never feel better. I could obv just shoot myself but that's too messy, could hang myself, but I'm 6'1 and I have a short and weak ceiling, so I'm looking into buying some form of SN. People will say I'm selfish, but my whole life I've been anything but selfish, helping others while fucking myself up, and just letting everyone treat me horribly. Its finally time I do something good for myself, I can finally free myself and everyone else from my existence. I cannot wait to rest,
