Failed attempt ruined me

[Musiclover338]

Anyone with drug induced brain damage/injury have any luck recovering

Hey two years ago in feb 2022 i tried over dosing on benzos off the darkweb and alcohol

long story short it left me with seemingly permanent brain damage that interferes with my daily life such as headaches sharp head pain/zaps

it all started after this event after i was laying in my bed wondering if i would have seizures or something i felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and i immediately thought "well that cant be good" and every day sense i have the same pain in the back of my head daily. heighten anxiety feels like im struggling to breathe most of the time.

it's affected my life drastically my head/brain constantly feels swollen and hurts its not a normal headache per say if its daily reoccurring, makes it hard to sleep because my brain seems like its throbbing.

Anyway anyone in a similar situation

i have tried magic mushroom to no avail.
getting desperate already have meto and SN
the fucked up part is my life would have improved for the better if i had just gave myself more time and moved out my parents sooner

Man dont mix pills and alcohol together to try to CTB it only makes life worse

 

[Asgardus]

I developed CFS and anhedonia from SSRI withdrawal. It's been 1 year since I've been off SSRIs yet I haven't noticed any improvements so far. I'm pretty much okay with my own situation but I might have to do something pretty soon in order to not end up homeless due to unemployment.

 

[Musiclover338]

I developed CFS and anhedonia from SSRI withdrawal. It's been 1 year since I've been off SSRIs yet I haven't noticed any improvements so far. I'm pretty much okay with my own situation but I might have to do something pretty soon in order to not end up homeless due to unemployment.

im lucky to have a job still but im struggling to keep it due to my head problems from the pills.

Security is pretty easy if u get lucky its what i currently do i sit down most of my shift

 

[sevennn]

oh i was considering this once :,( did it feel immediately like a mistake as you drank it?

 

[Musiclover338]

oh i was considering this once :,( did it feel immediately like a mistake as you drank it?

No i didn't notice until i woke up the next day with the weirdest headache

it immediately put me to sleep after combining them/ made me pass out

had memory loss evidently i was crying had to be told that because i had no recollection of it

i just hate life made me feel like i had to do this capitalism sucks

 

[sevennn]

No i didn't notice until i woke up the next day with the weirdest headache

it immediately put me to sleep after combining them/ made me pass out

had memory loss evidently i was crying had to be told that because i had no recollection of it

i just hate life made me feel like i had to do this capitalism sucks

i'm so sorry. hugs.

 

[needthebus]

zaps is an ambiguous word

flashes of light relate to eyes sometimes, but that's probably not what you mean (it also is something people can often have without it being a problem but it's important to see eye-doctor)

you should see an optometrist if it's visual and also a neurologist, if they say you're fine, see psych

could you be having localized small seizures that seem like zaps? because there are pills for that?

you could also be psychotic and just think it's zaps

if you don't tell them there was a suicide attempt, and just say you're having sudden bad headaches and you want a neurological test, they can may be able to figure out the problem without you being labeled a drug addict or mental case

if you suffered brain damage, antipsychotics regrow brain cells, but only the short axon ones and not the longer ones, but it's something. the problem is in order to get them they would have to diagnose you with something, and after a few years your brain could be okay if it's just drug induced.

these seem like things that could be dealt with using professionals

 

[depthss]

sorry youre going through that, it sounds unbearable, this type of damage sounds terrible to live with. do you happen to know how common this type of brain damage is? ive tried to CTB this way before and didnt have any lasting effects, and ive been thinking id try it again.

 

[Musiclover338]

zaps is an ambiguous word

flashes of light relate to eyes sometimes, but that's probably not what you mean (it also is something people can often have without it being a problem but it's important to see eye-doctor)

you should see an optometrist if it's visual and also a neurologist, if they say you're fine, see psych

could you be having localized small seizures that seem like zaps? because there are pills for that?

you could also be psychotic and just think it's zaps

if you don't tell them there was a suicide attempt, and just say you're having sudden bad headaches and you want a neurological test, they can may be able to figure out the problem without you being labeled a drug addict or mental case

if you suffered brain damage, antipsychotics regrow brain cells, but only the short axon ones and not the longer ones, but it's something. the problem is in order to get them they would have to diagnose you with something, and after a few years your brain could be okay if it's just drug induced.

these seem like things that could be dealt with using professionals

thanks i should keep trying doctors but its eating my wallet, i have had a mri test and Ct scan they said both came back normal.

i will try getting antipsychotics next

 

[mythofsisyphus]

thanks i should keep trying doctors but its eating my wallet, i have had a mri test and Ct scan they said both came back normal.

i will try getting antipsychotics next

I'd be very cautious about trying antipsychotics. I also have a med injury, and in most cases I've seen trying other psych drugs often only worsens the issue. Please tread with extreme caution. Obviously if you're at the point of considering suicide, you've got nothing to loose so may as well try, but yeah, just be careful.

 

[needthebus]

thanks i should keep trying doctors but its eating my wallet, i have had a mri test and Ct scan they said both came back normal.

i will try getting antipsychotics next

would this indicate if you were having localized seizures but not at the time? did you see a neurologist?

also

What Is Photopsia?

A photopsia is a flash of light that you can see without actual light. Find out why you may have them.

my.clevelandclinic.org

it could definitely be mild psychosis because it seems like thoughts are leading to major symptoms which isn't that typical for physical ailments

 

[Musiclover338]

would this indicate if you were having localized seizures but not at the time? did you see a neurologist?

also

What Is Photopsia?

A photopsia is a flash of light that you can see without actual light. Find out why you may have them.

my.clevelandclinic.org

it could definitely be mild psychosis because it seems like thoughts are leading to major symptoms which isn't that typical for physical ailments

yes the neurologist just gave me some sort of migraine pill but it also increases risk of suicidal thoughts so i have been cautious about taking it topiramate

 

[needthebus]

yes the neurologist just gave me some sort of migraine pill but it also increases risk of suicidal thoughts so i have been cautious about taking it topiramate

have you done any intense cardio too? that also can regrow brain neurons

you should probably be doing like 1-2 hours of intense cardio every day for 3 months and eating broccoli and just lots of vegetables to see if that get your brain to go back to a default state, or less damaged state

it sounds to me like you could be early in the schizophrenic process also and perhaps you can reverse it with a ton of exercise and healthy eating and sobriety

you should stay away from illegal drugs. go to NA or find some non-religious recovery group like Smart Recovery, but just be careful. Drugs can make people schizophrenic. I just feel like this vibe from you like you aren't there, but if you don't change things, it could head that direction.

When I saw people in involuntary commitment who had schizophrenia, it was usually illegal drugs + major trauma + natural creative predisposition. It was like the magic formula for it hitting people with schizophrenia, which is why many people can do illegal drugs and be fine (because they are neither creative nor traumatized). I'm just seeing "music lover" and multiple references to illegal drugs and discussion of "zaps" which may be real or could be delusion based on early psychosis.

I don't want to worry you. I feel like you aren't there yet, and if you avoid illegal drugs and do cardio you may avoid that reality. You could also see a psychiatrist because people who are in the early stages of mental health issues that get interventions really early tend to have better outcomes. Just be careful, you seem like a nice person, you'll probably be fine in a year or two. Brain issues sometimes resolve on their own if you take care of your health, but sometimes they don't.

1-2 hours of cardio per day every day would probably make you less suicidal so you could use the headache medication more easily.