Failed attempt. Got laughed at by the NHS

[jojobanana]

I'm horrified and feel sick and frustrated. It's been about 5 weeks now since I made an attempt. I overdosed on SSRIs. Had seizures and door broken down by police. Paramedics arrived and immediately declared I was pretending. I was disoriented I believed they wanted to section me and was inconsolable. labelled as aggressive (i was lying in bed crying but they can label me as aggressive as long as im black). Was discharged from the hospital the following day. Doctor said my seizures (or "the shakes" as staff called it) was just a nervous breakdown. Continued to have seizures and went to A+E again just wanting answers. Nurses whispered about me and my mum and even when my mum pressed the emergency buzzer one of them came back smiling and jolly to tell me "they're psychological". I self discharged. Continued to have seizures until 3rd attendance to A+E when I was finally believed. Awaiting neurology review. but they've stopped now. More than likely they won't come back. But it's not stopped me from feeling like god I wish I had been more careful and patient to find a method that was reliable. Maybe that would give them something to laugh at right?

 

[moonlightbeach]

I'm sorry, that is absolutely horrific and derogatory. This happens way too many times and it's honestly criminal how people treat us when we're in our most vulnerable. I find it mad that we live in a world when doctors don't believe you - my GP just laughs at everything I tell her and especially after I made a severe attempt, seeing her this week to talk about getting euthanasia (because that's the official way of getting referred) wish me luck everyone lmao. Hope no severe damage after the seizure and that you get a proper diagnosis in time. Wonder if they'll keep laughing if they realize they're a part of the problem too.

 

[Yuri440]

Aye my GP is a pain with it too, and the crisis team are just frustrating. Only ones that have listened to me to some extent have been my community mental health team, but even then my first two CPNs didn't care, my third one I feel lucky to have. My GP often complains when I don't want a referral to somewhere an hour away because of the travel being too much, and their argument for complaining about it is that I managed to travel to the GP (which is 20 seconds away by car man) and the crisis team just called me stupid for how I was feeling. My second CPN told me to get rid of my only friend but also complained I don't have friends and I was so confused by it. I asked what to do and they just dodged the question.

It can be so frustrating man. Not too sure if it's the right thing to say, but killing yourself just to spite some bad healthcare workers ain't worth it, honestly. Do what you want for yourself, if you get what I mean. I've tried to do it a few times when frustrated at people like that and honestly it just led me to rushing and failing, and making me miserable thinking they were right. I dunno if I'm explaining it right, but do what's best for you, not some dick <3

 

[jatty]

I hate this world.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Pseudo aka psychological seizures feel exactly like seizures and even if they don't do damage like actually seizures they do fuck you up mentally. I'm sorry you're going through this

 

[Feux]

Im also a black girl, something like this happened to me last year and it was a terrifying experience to live through. I'm deeply sorry you've endured this too.

 

[metfan647]

The NHS is a disgrace and reflective of the ills of our politics and society. Sorry you went through this. This will pass. Take your time to heal and do loads of research around methods and take your time with things. Try to discover things you enjoy too so the option of life is still open.

 

[LittleBlackCat]

My GP sat there smirking at me when I told her I was suicidal and had a method ready. I felt so helpless. I hate this country!! I'm so sorry you went through this

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Its them I had to pity this man because he called me saying people were laughing at him for being on this show and he even asked the people form that show to delete it because he told me it was affecting his mental health.

Poor thing, so it's not only you.

I saw Twitter laughing at him too.

Humans are like that.

Take care OP.

 

[39hatsune]

I'm horrified and feel sick and frustrated. It's been about 5 weeks now since I made an attempt. I overdosed on SSRIs. Had seizures and door broken down by police. Paramedics arrived and immediately declared I was pretending. I was disoriented I believed they wanted to section me and was inconsolable. labelled as aggressive (i was lying in bed crying but they can label me as aggressive as long as im black). Was discharged from the hospital the following day. Doctor said my seizures (or "the shakes" as staff called it) was just a nervous breakdown. Continued to have seizures and went to A+E again just wanting answers. Nurses whispered about me and my mum and even when my mum pressed the emergency buzzer one of them came back smiling and jolly to tell me "they're psychological". I self discharged. Continued to have seizures until 3rd attendance to A+E when I was finally believed. Awaiting neurology review. but they've stopped now. More than likely they won't come back. But it's not stopped me from feeling like god I wish I had been more careful and patient to find a method that was reliable. Maybe that would give them something to laugh at right?

im so sorry about your experience! i had a similar experience, i know they have many patients but they really do make you feel like you're worth nothing
i hope you will feel better with time

 

[sendmeawayalien]

Im sorry you had that experience.. it sounds very similar to my week last week. I felt like more of a burden than ever. My movements were restricted and had I not argued my way out, I believe they would have detailed me for longer. Its got to the point where I dont even have to say anything, theyve already made judgements on me. Nothing has changed since my attempt, in fact I just feel like when I do try again, i just have to make sure. I hope you find peace

 

[jojobanana]

Im sorry you had that experience.. it sounds very similar to my week last week. I felt like more of a burden than ever. My movements were restricted and had I not argued my way out, I believe they would have detailed me for longer. Its got to the point where I dont even have to say anything, theyve already made judgements on me. Nothing has changed since my attempt, in fact I just feel like when I do try again, i just have to make sure. I hope you find peace

This is how i feel too. I have to make sure this time.

 

[BlueLock]

I'm so sorry, medical racism is so evil.

 

[jojobanana]

Im sorry you had that experience.. it sounds very similar to my week last week. I felt like more of a burden than ever. My movements were restricted and had I not argued my way out, I believe they would have detailed me for longer. Its got to the point where I dont even have to say anything, theyve already made judgements on me. Nothing has changed since my attempt, in fact I just feel like when I do try again, i just have to make sure. I hope you find peace

This is how i feel too. I have to make sure this time

I'm sorry, that is absolutely horrific and derogatory. This happens way too many times and it's honestly criminal how people treat us when we're in our most vulnerable. I find it mad that we live in a world when doctors don't believe you - my GP just laughs at everything I tell her and especially after I made a severe attempt, seeing her this week to talk about getting euthanasia (because that's the official way of getting referred) wish me luck everyone lmao. Hope no severe damage after the seizure and that you get a proper diagnosis in time. Wonder if they'll keep laughing if they realize they're a part of the problem too.

Are you in the UK? Can they refer or at least vouch for you if you want euthanasia? I've looked into pegasos

 

[moonlightbeach]

Are you in the UK? Can they refer or at least vouch for you if you want euthanasia? I've looked into pegasos

I'm in the Netherlands so I don't know what the system is like for the UK unfortunately:(
I have applied for euthanasia and as of right now it's done processing, they need more information. No timeline yet. I had to apply manually on the agency's website and fill in all the information. I thought it'd be through psychiatrist/psychologist team or GP but my team said it doesn't know how and GP said we need to do it ourselves. They require you to be under psychiatric care for a year here and try all the treatment, and while I'm neither, I still applied to see what they say. It's a long process and it does go through multiple independent therapists and a council here, so i assume that you can get a vouch and referral but the euthanasia team need to investigate further.

How are you doing now by the way? What would you rate the pain?

 

[dalemar]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you are better now.
How were you discovered by the police? Did you call for help?

 

[BrainSplatter]

I'm really sorry for your experience and how you weren't believed or treated with better care. I also went through similar years ago when I overdosed on paracetamol, I had sudden involuntary movements where my arms twisted back and my neck pulled. It looked like a seizure but I was conscious and so it wasn't epilepsy. Doctors said it was likely a toxic or metabolic reaction to the overdose, like acute dystonia or abnormal posturing. After it stopped a nurse said something like "there are really sick people here" I've never felt so ashamed – I hate that feeling after a failed attempt it's awful. I really hope the neurology review gives you some answers. I'll never attempt again it was long before I found SaSu. SN is the way to go