Emotional Torture from Ex I think caused me to miscarry...

[Ilovedyoulikeadog]

I don't have any words... truthfully... to make a short long story short.. I have BPD, and my boyfriend randomnly came home from work one day, packed up all of his things , and left... I found out I was pregnant shortly after. The emotional torture was so extreme... I think it caused me to miscarry. I started labor pains last night, and this night, I just passed what looks like the baby. It was developed enough that I could see it's little fingers and toes. I'm devastated, and all I can feel is hatred and rage for my ex partner. I begged him to please be nicer to me. I begged him to please take it easy on me. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. But I tried... I tried my best. When I had told him about the pregnancy, he had told me that he hoped that it would miscarry, and now that we are here... I'm just... I don't even have words. I'm all alone. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post the photo of him/her here but if I am allowed, I can put it in the comments.. :(

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Please seek help from a professional therapist. This must be very hard

 

[Ilovedyoulikeadog]

Please seek help from a professional therapist. This must be very hard

I've no money, and no health insurance.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

The emotional torture was so extreme... I think it caused me to miscarry. I started labor pains last night, and this night, I just passed what looks like the baby. It was developed enough that I could see it's little fingers and toes. I'm devastated, and all I can feel is hatred and rage for my ex partner. I begged him to please be nicer to me. I begged him to please take it easy on me. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. But I tried... I tried my best. When I had told him about the pregnancy, he had told me that he hoped that it would miscarry, and now that we are here... I'm just... I don't even have words. I'm all alone.

Hello @Ilovedyoulikeadog,

Your pain is far beyond my imagination. I think, as you say, it's nothing but a pure physical and mental torture. And it's traumatic - like a war or a gruesome accident - which may give you big T kind of trauma and PTSD I guess. It could torment you for decades - I'm so sorry. Are you safe physically right now?

It seems that you have nobody near you who care about you. I'm so sorry, because no online stranger can substitute a partner you need in this moment.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post the photo of him/her here but if I am allowed, I can put it in the comments.. :(

I think it's okay to send the photo of them via PM - if you think it makes your torment a bit less unbearable, please PM me