Venting ED and SH relapse, here I come

[Wolf Girl]

I've started hurting myself again. I've started going hungry again.

I cut with a craft knife I keep in my bedside drawer. It's not as risky as the shaving razor blades that will cut you to the muscle in one slash. I don't want to end up back in the ER. But I want to bleed. I want my skin to hurt.

I'm counting calories and skipping meals. I want to be skinny again. Even if it means having sunken eyes and blue fingernails. Heroin chic. I hate myself as I am. I hate having fat on my body. People tell me I'm not fat, just an average size person, but I'm the kind of person who doesn't look good enough at a normal size. My body shape is too weird, I need to be SKINNY to stop being gross.

I hate myself so fucking much.

 

[The Morningstar]

Hey.

I may not have any special abilities or anything, but if I could, by some power, or even just the right combination of words, I would take these awful thoughts out of your head. They don't belong there. They have no right, no claim to your mind. All I can say is I'm sorry that you suffer so. And all I can offer is to talk if you would ever like to.