(Dont) talk me out of it

[ketopia]

I'm going tomorrow. I'm heartbroken. I love my boyfriend so much and he makes me forget everything that is making me want to ctb. We're having such a good night. But my plan has been in place for so long. My room is booked my sn is packed my letters are written the plan is ready.

People die every day. It's no different than if I got into a car accident tomorrow. This is happening. I want to be stopped but I won't be. And I want the peace. I don't know what im asking for. I've spoken plenty on here about my reasons and im very sure I won't ever get better. I just have my brother my last hug today. I won't see him again. God it hurts so bad but I can't be here anymore. I'm in crisis

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm sorry you are suffering and I hope you find peace.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I feel your pain. I suffer from major depressive disorder but I'm so bad I can barely get out of bed. I wish I had the strength to get my affairs in order, make a solid plan and write notes. It's OK if you change your mind. There are a lot of meds out there maybe you haven't tried yet.

 

[EmptyBottle]

BTW, if you had one last sentence, what might that be? (if I may ask)

 

[mirage]

Maybe it's better not to set a date? You can just do it whenever you feel it's right once you've exhausted all your options completely (if you haven't already)

 

[ketopia]

BTW, if you had one last sentence, what might that be? (if I may ask)

I love you, mom. My last thoughts will be of her

 

[hankly]

What does your boyfriend do that makes it go away?

 

[bankai]

I love you, mom. My last thoughts will be of her

Same here.

 

[ketopia]

Maybe it's better not to set a date? You can just do it whenever you feel it's right once you've exhausted all your options completely (if you haven't already)

I really feel like it's out of my control at this point. And maybe that's for the best.

 

[Roadrunner]

Good luck, I hope you find peace

 

[ketopia]

What does your boyfriend do that makes it go away?

He just makes it so easy to be around him. I'm someone who really struggles socially but since day one everything has felt so natural with him. He's an extremely special kind of person. He makes me feel heard when I talk. And we have so much fun together