Don’t know what to put here...

[Eden2k]

I'm sat on my bed, on my iPad, viewing this site.
I'm exhausted but not the type of exhaustion that having a hot bath, with bubbles, will cure.
Googling nonsense. Stuff that is only increasing the urge to ctb sooner.
I know I am blessed in many ways, and should be grateful for what I have, but I'm not.
Just constantly feel utter emptiness and despair. It's agony.
I know what I have to do but it doesn't make it any easier to do.
Resenting my nearest and dearest, because I've stayed as long as I have for them.
I wish there wasn't a need for a site like this, but I'm glad it exists.

 

[15dec]

I think I understand how you're feeling, friend. Life is incredibly draining and hard even if we have things to be thankful for and privileges others don't, please don't feel bad for struggling regardless. There's a community here that can support you however you need. Wishing you the best, sending hugs

 

[TiredHorse]

No, it isn't a curable exhaustion, is it? I live in it, too. It's truly awful, and I'm really sorry you're sunk in it.

This site may not be the panacea for what ails us all, but it is very welcome palliative care.

 

[Retched]

There is some comfort in this site for me, I'm a little too addicted to it right now, yet I am at a peak of suicidal urges and it is helpful, even if to just look and see where other's are at. I wish I could find a partner that wouldn't fall through, I know it isn't the most popular thing, and it is really hard to find someone who would travel to me. Most of all it is helpful to know that I'm not alone with the thoughts I have, the things I do, and maybe eventually an ultimate decision to ctb.

 

[15dec]

There is some comfort in this site for me, I'm a little too addicted to it right now, yet I am at a peak of suicidal urges and it is helpful, even if to just look and see where other's are at. I wish I could find a partner that wouldn't fall through, I know it isn't the most popular thing, and it is really hard to find someone who would travel to me. Most of all it is helpful to know that I'm not alone with the thoughts I have, the things I do, and maybe eventually an ultimate decision to ctb.

Yeah, that's how I feel about this site. Having people who get how you feel is amazing, and before I found this website I only saw support groups with a lot of censorship (in my opinion anyway) and anti-suicide articles that probably meant well but really just seemed to guilt me for feeling so low. I'm glad you're finding comfort here as well, best wishes for the future. Hugs