Does thinking about CTB often interfere with recovery?

[NambaSutra]

As the subject says, does thinking frequently about suicide, including checking this website often, make it less likely you'll do other positive things? Like see a therapist, exercise, etc?

 

[TowerRoad]

it's a roulette I guess. Since I started visiting this site I've been hesitant about CTB after reading so many stories.

So many sad and cruel stories that make you feel kind of guilty of CTB.


Sending you hope from here.

 

[SoftWorries]

For me it is helpful for recovery. I usually come on when I feel myself becoming panicked.

For years I've been all alone in my head unable to express how it feels like to have been abused and to be suicidal. Here I feel understood and accepted and that helps.

 

[todienomore]

Thinking in general can be an issue, as rumination/ideation/fantasy etc. Suicidal ideation in itself is a sort of cope I think we are all familiar with. Try ridiculing and othering that voice in your head, alienate and bully it when it rears its head.

And really do get some exercise, don't even think about it just go for a walk at sunrise and sunset, get some mid morning sun, circadian health is key to healthy neurotransmitter levels. We simply arent designed to be stagnant under artificial blue lights.

 

[leftdreaming]

I find that I've gotten more depressed when I think about CTB, but I also tend to do what many would consider "spiraling" in terms of how I do so.
A lot of people I've seen on this site have mentioned feeling joy in finding a community of their own. We live in a world where finding help isn't easy and can be destructive if you aren't careful, so SS is a great place to talk to other like-minded individuals without repercussions. Whether you believe that would help with recovery is up to you.
I hope you find the answer(s) you are looking for and I wish you luck.

 

[Iamhere2005]

It's a great question that scares me what that answer is. I feel torn about it. Joining this site and procuring a ctb option made my choice very real. Fantasy became reality. Reality became real. And now I must face what I want to do. I tend to feel like it's not good to be on here and have a secret yet it also feels good in that it's my actual truth so I'm comforted by being in where I am. I'm doing therapy and all the "right" stuff so I guess that's my defense that I'm "allowed" to be on here but ugh I don't know I guess. I don't. Maybe moderation is key? Like most things. I'll be curious to what others say.

 

[endless_pain]

Yeah me too, I am curious about this matter.
I booked therapy with my new therapist in the meantime although the struggle is real.
I alternate moments of CTBing to moments of wanting a different life and take action but I loose motivation when I have to do it like next day.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Yes. 100%. You can't get better if you have an escape planned.

 

[composingthefuture]

for me, it does. i want to be better, but comparing the long dreadful live id have to live compared to a "solution" makes it seem appealing, i signed up for this website during a crisis and im still sticking around just so i can help people to the best of my ability. during these crises it's definitely harder to keep yourself safe, especially when ctb or sh are tempting.

 

[LonleyDazai]

As the subject says, does thinking frequently about suicide, including checking this website often, make it less likely you'll do other positive things? Like see a therapist, exercise, etc?

I'd say no, because change takes a long time. Learn mediation, it teaches you to let your thoughts flow both good and bad. You are not your thoughts.