Venting Does being unemployed make life 10 times worse for you too?

[iamtrying]

Perhaps being employed would help give a proper structure. Structure, to some, helps in recovery.


Useless personal venting below:

I am going to graduate soon, and i have only one offer in hand. Unfortunately the ex employees of the company say its a horrible work environment so i do not want to join. Additionally the company has a 2 year contract with a bad bad pay, basically meaning i will be stuck there. I am already so depressed, this makes it so difficult to find the will to do anything. How am i supposed to get other offers without any skills. My own mother has been insulting me by saying the only reason i even got this offer was cause the didn't require skills, i am so tired. I am trying , i really am, but clearly not hard enough? Will i always be so below average (in her own words). I barely go out (i am not allowed to), i have no life with no experiences and nothing to show for. I really want to leave this country and immigrate to a safer country, but without some experience its basically impossible. Is it? Gosh i am so lost. This whole vent is also such a mess. So much to do, so little time. It all feels impossible and i cant seem to get anywhere. Plus my eating disorder is ruining me. But, all my problems seem so privileged. I keep finding myself wishing i had ended it all back when i was 17, before i even started uni. Things just seem tougher now , and things just keep getting worse.

There is a way i can leave this country, by doing Post Graduate studies. But i am afraid to try, i have nothing, why would any uni want me? After uni, will i even be able to get a job? I am basically a living breathing waste of space time and money. I regret not ending it back then, i wasted my time and everyone else's time, and i continue to do so.

I wonder if getting a job will bring some structure and freedom in my life, maybe some light in my life too. But the possibility of me getting a job keeps getting slimmer. Maybe i should just take this shitty job? Perhaps that is what i deserve in life. Things keeps getting darker and everything feels out of reach and impossible. I dont understand what's wrong with me.

 

[nitrogenous]

I just got fired from my job because of my mental health and it definitely made things so much worse off. Not just mentally as I loved that job, but also because practically, I'm really struggling financially too. I'm not able to afford any of my living expenses anymore and it's definitely giving me the push to just ctb, rather than having to sleep on the streets. Losing the job also made me feel like a failure, as if there's something wrong with me.

I did lose another prestigious job a few months ago also because of my mental health, but the difference is that I actually hated that job and therefore the loss wasn't as devastating as the last one. Having a shitty job did increase my SI though…

So, it really depends whether this job can
- financially be enough for your expenses
- enjoyable (or at least not making you feel worse off every time you think about it)

 

[itsgone2]

Any sort of job insecurity is a nightmare. It's the main reason I'm suicidal

 

[metfan647]

For me I'm screwed either way. Out of work means I'm in bed rotting away and work just makes me miserable.

 

[Tzrmd]

I think it differs between people.

And i can only speak for my self here, but for me working allows me to support my self and thats good i guess but it has done nothing to make me happy.

That said without work i just waste away at home playing games or watching movies

 

[ScaredCutter]

yes, i feel very behind in life because of it. i have no idea what my hiring rates would be because of ASD...

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel like both circumstances can be difficult. We can be suicidal for either reason. When we don't have work, there's more societal/ familial pressure to comply. But then, I've found- even when we do work, the comments still come: 'Are you earning enough? Are you putting by for a pension? Aren't you trying to progress in your career?

The two year contract for this job does sound a little strange. I wasn't aware an employer could actually prevent a person quitting. There again, it doesn't look too great on a CV to keep hopping between jobs. A friend said they used to aim to try to stay with a company for a year, before moving on.

As to what it might do for you- it's tricky to know unless you try it. It may partially get your family off your back although again- they may just move on to them nagging about other things. It would be gaining you experience to put on your CV. I tend to know more people who are miserable because of their jobs- rather than them bringing them joy but again- there's no sure way of knowing in advance. I wish you luck, whatever you decide.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

No, both are pretty unenjoyable for me. I find myself in the dilemma where they bring different, distinct types of anxiety. When I am employed, I feel the loss of my autonomy and leisure. Conversely, unemployment causes me intense stress regarding financial stability. I have a promising internship lined up, and while the teams seemed excellent in the interview, I am still managing expectations as I don't know whether it will provide me genuine fulfillment or merely serve as a financial bridge and a distraction from the toils of day to day life as they are now.

 

[Kanoh]

If I could just do my copes and would not have to worry about finances, I'd quit my job in a heartbeat, it's only a source of stress for me. But of course I need to earn to live so no way around it. I am slowly building a financial cushion though with a dream of retiring early, but most likely I will just CTB pretty soon.

 

[Macedonian1987]

In all my 38 years on this earth I have only worked for 2 years and I hated every second of it. I hated working because the pay was lower than minimal and I was bullied because of my asperger's constantly. I quit those two jobs, and i gave a vow never to work again even if I die of hunger, which wont happen because I will ctb long before I spend my life savings.

 

[sels]

I'm watching friends with similar careers and skillsets be laid off by companies "pivoting" to AI. Every day is full of dread. I feel like they'll never get hired again, and the circle of unemployed people will just keep expanding until the system collapses and they have AI kill us off.

But in the meantime, I still have to go to work.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

If that shitty job is the only way you can power through the upcoming months, financially, I'd say it's better than nothing. If they haven't given you the details on the contract you received, ask if there's penalty for resignation. If there isn't, try working for a few quarters first and see if it really is that bad (pay is small, as you said, but if money is thin, anything will do)

Now, regarding your mental health... jobs can offer structure but if you got other concerns outside of the office and then you get pressure from the people in the office too? Not a good combination. I quit after 3 months from my previous job since I was still mourning my dead best friend. I was mourning, my boss was ass, I was moving to a new city too, and there was just a lot going on.

All I gotta say is, I wish you the best. If you're still applying now, keep applying until you get accepted with a better offer. You're not alone here. I've been jobless for almost 5 months now and money is bad. I don't know if I can survive another month without making loans or asking from family members.

Shit's bad. Good luck, OP.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Yes, but, I'm 36 and can only do teenage-tier jobs. I hate menial labor. I thought I was meant for so much more but I went insane. I'm too cowardly to CTB, I fear hell, and I'm so depressed I just stay in bed all day. I have no idea how this ends. How could this drag on to natural death? I'm just not thinking of the future. Hey, let's start another sudoku, let's play another YouTube video.