Does anyone else have a hard time defining themselves?

[CoolGuy9]

I don't feel like I know myself. I'm always really uncertain of things. I couldn't define my personality if I wanted. I don't know what I suffer from or why. I'm pretty sure I have depression, but uncertainty strikes again.

 

[Umbra]

Don't feel like I need to

 

[Kyrok]

What do you mean by "define"?

 

[Redt2go]

You tried personality tests? Myers Briggs, true colors, 16 personalities etc

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I don't feel like I know myself. I'm always really uncertain of things. I couldn't define my personality if I wanted. I don't know what I suffer from or why. I'm pretty sure I have depression, but uncertainty strikes again.

I feel for you, man. Do you think your uncertainty originates in you yourself, or do you think it comes from a mix of messages you get from your culture, too? I might say something similar. But I judge myself through my culture's eyes. And get one overarching concept back: failure. I'm really OK with it now b/c I'm no longer in my teens or early 20's when I thought I had to be around to do stuff for a looooooong time. Now I just want to get out of here.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't feel like I know myself. I'm always really uncertain of things. I couldn't define my personality if I wanted. I don't know what I suffer from or why. I'm pretty sure I have depression, but uncertainty strikes again.

The self authoring program will really help you with that.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I, sir, am a wiggly worm, sir. A wiggly worm, sir. The lowest lump of whale blubber at the bottom of the deepest ocean. Sir!

 

[Koal]

Human identities are complex things formed by countless influences, we can't be summarised in only a few words.

 

[sadsoul]

I don't feel like I know myself. I'm always really uncertain of things. I couldn't define my personality if I wanted. I don't know what I suffer from or why. I'm pretty sure I have depression, but uncertainty strikes again.

I'm always really uncertain too, I don't know if I'm 'just' shy or have social phobia or maybe something related to upbringing or maybe multiple things, I just don't know. And I don't even know for sure that I have depression, I feel like my symptoms are much weaker than other people's and it makes me feel like a fraud. I also don't why I am the way I am, whether it has to do with society or biology or idk what. And another thing I've noticed is that I'm unable to do personality tests, I always end up thinking about every question for an eternity and I just don't know how to answer them. I don't know who I am. And I doubt that other people know because they only get to see a tiny part of me. I wish I had more certainty, I wish I knew what's wrong with me and who I am. Maybe I'm just overthinking this but it really bothers me.

 

[CoolGuy9]

What do you mean by "define"?

I mean I don't know who I am. Am I a kind quiet man, with a dark sense of humor? Am I someone who dreams of big and has lot's to say, but can't because low self worth? I don't know and this lack of identity bothers me.

You tried personality tests? Myers Briggs, true colors, 16 personalities etc

I have and this scares me: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnum_effect

I feel for you, man. Do you think your uncertainty originates in you yourself, or do you think it comes from a mix of messages you get from your culture, too? I might say something similar. But I judge myself through my culture's eyes. And get one overarching concept back: failure. I'm really OK with it now b/c I'm no longer in my teens or early 20's when I thought I had to be around to do stuff for a looooooong time. Now I just want to get out of here.

I think it comes more from in myself.

The self authoring program will really help you with that.

Procrastinating, but danke.

I'm always really uncertain too, I don't know if I'm 'just' shy or have social phobia or maybe something related to upbringing or maybe multiple things, I just don't know. And I don't even know for sure that I have depression, I feel like my symptoms are much weaker than other people's and it makes me feel like a fraud. I also don't why I am the way I am, whether it has to do with society or biology or idk what. And another thing I've noticed is that I'm unable to do personality tests, I always end up thinking about every question for an eternity and I just don't know how to answer them. I don't know who I am. And I doubt that other people know because they only get to see a tiny part of me. I wish I had more certainty, I wish I knew what's wrong with me and who I am. Maybe I'm just overthinking this but it really bothers me.

Not being sure if you have depression, because weaker symptoms and then feeling like a fraud hits a little close to home. It's really good to see someone with the same problem so I don't feel so alone. I also have this weird distorted desire to be depressed so that also adds to my feelings of being a fraud.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

I feel similar. I've never really "found myself".

I think people's personality's are mostly defined by their relationships with other people. Since I've had few meaningful relationships it's been hard to develop a personality. I feel like when I do interact with people, even friends and family, it's all an "act". It's not the real me

 

[BandAddict]

I know exactly what you mean. I actually think about it all the time, it keeps me up at night occasionally. It's like I can't describe my personality or whether I'm even a decent person or not. It's frustrating, as I can't pin myself with any title, and yet I already hate what or who I am regardless. When I used to be acquainted with peers during school, sometimes a conversation would lead up to someone labeling us with one word. Things like "cool" and "funny" would be used, but once it came to me, it was "and you? Umm I don't really know, your just [my name]." I feel so detached from reality...

 

[Funkbunny]

I have no inclination to judge myself to others in order to either feel better about, or chastise myself. The human condition is complex enough!
Nobody 'knows' another person entirely.

 

[CoolGuy9]

I know exactly what you mean. I actually think about it all the time, it keeps me up at night occasionally. It's like I can't describe my personality or whether I'm even a decent person or not. It's frustrating, as I can't pin myself with any title, and yet I already hate what or who I am regardless. When I used to be acquainted with peers during school, sometimes a conversation would lead up to someone labeling us with one word. Things like "cool" and "funny" would be used, but once it came to me, it was "and you? Umm I don't really know, your just [my name]." I feel so detached from reality...

One time my mother called me calm and I kind of see myself as that. The thing is though that when I play games, I start yelling at the game so I question if even that's true. Like ofcourse even calm people aren't always calm, but I do this embarrassingly often.

 

[BandAddict]

One time my mother called me calm and I kind of see myself as that. The thing is though that when I play games, I start yelling at the game so I question if even that's true. Like ofcourse even calm people aren't always calm, but I do this embarrassingly often.

That makes sense to me. It's as with anything else, I suppose. No disposition or mood-trait is permanent, and is subject to change at anytime. Depends on the environment or any other factors. Either way, it's nice that your mother can see that particular trait in you. Gaming rage is common, too, which is fine as long as nothing gets broken and no one gets hurt haha

 

[littlepillbox]

I don't feel like I know myself. I'm always really uncertain of things. I couldn't define my personality if I wanted. I don't know what I suffer from or why. I'm pretty sure I have depression, but uncertainty strikes again.

sounds like you have Borderline and/or Antisocial Personality Disorder.

 

[ZixivaldYrxes]

Sometimes. It comes and goes. Half the time I'm extremely certain of who I am, the other half I don't know at all. I do think that I change my self-definition (whether this translates into actual behavior or not, I'm not sure, but I know that it modifies the way I think) often enough that I get disoriented by it and I feel a lot of discontinuity between one "chapter" of my life and the next. Like I've been three or four different people already, with different lives, and I just happen to remember them all.

 

[Begemont]

Yeah I know that feeling. I can tell you what I used to be good at. Brother. Son. I can tell some of my views. Thoughts and philosophical positions.

But who the fuck am I? I've no clue. Most of the time I feel as if I haven't any identity, apart from what I used to be good at. My political leanings. I don't know what my personality is like. Some of it I'm pretty sure stems from the fact that I simply cannot remember a lot. Some probably from other stuff. Some probably from the fact that I don't want to think about it, being afraid of what I would realise I am.

 

[SMarie1204]

I've been thinking about this & really, "who I am" meaning who I see myself as is only that. No one else has the same picture. To some people, I am strictly hostile. To others I'm calm and kind. I'm weak, funny, strong, lame--I'm a thousand different people depending on who you ask. The truth is I'm all those things and a thousand other things that no one knows, depending on the situation, the past, the present. I felt bad at first, not being able to "define" myself. Reality is, I don't ever have to. If I was only calm and caring, I'd never speak up against people who don't appreciate me/never defend other people. If I was only hostile, I'd be a really crappy person. How do you define an entire person? I think that diagnosing you as borderline or antisocial based on a vague thought that we all have is irresponsible.

 

[coileanbeag]

I feel that people's "personality" are just traits that they either learned or subconsciously copied from either parents, friends or some important role model in their life. These traits have been passed down generation to generation and were modified or changed with time and social influence. Imo I think people with mental illnesses sometimes have a hard time defining themselves due to not being able to take in these traits from neglective parents or were lonely children or being emotionally disconnected from others growing up.
maybe idk

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I don't even feel like a person most of the time, so I understand this all too well.
It's just like I'm a numb and empty vessel. I don't really care about anything enough to have any sort of genuine reaction.
I can feign emotion depending on the situation, but really it takes so much effort I end up withdrawing and isolating myself because I'm just tired of pretending all the time.
Pretty sure an endless feeling of indifference and not having a solid answer for anything is my personality.

 

[throwaway777]

yes a lot ... i have no personality ... i copy others and steal things from them ... and it makes me feel so bad that i want to die ):

 

[coileanbeag]

yes a lot ... i have no personality ... i copy others and steal things from them ... and it makes me feel so bad that i want to die ):

I said this in another post aswell but I want say it to you too, imo I think that everybodies personality is based off the people around them growing up and who the like, it's natural.No one has a choice to choosing a personality it's just what you learn. I hope this might help you to feel a little better about it but if not it's ok:)

 

[bhav]

yes a lot ... i have no personality ... i copy others and steal things from them ... and it makes me feel so bad that i want to die ):

Same. I know this is normal to a certain extent, and that everyone changes depending on who they're talking to, but I change so much to fit the person that I'm talking to, and I'll change again if I talk to another person, and then by the end of the day, I've completely lost my sense of what makes me fundementally me because I feel like I'm living my life for everyone but myself.

 

[JWL]

Myers Briggs, true colors, 16 personalities

I tried these tests and they all said I was a perfect speciman of humanity. I'm putting ctb on hold while I do some serious reflection...

 

[dandan]

The self authoring program will really help you with that.

Are you profiting from the self authoring program?

its just some questions...

I have written that and much more through life...

 

[GeorgeJL]

Are you profiting from the self authoring program?

its just some questions...

I have written that and much more through life...

The program was created by Jordan Peterson, so no I don't work with Jordan Peterson. Also I didn't give an affiliate link so again I don't make any money recommending this program. I just know that is works very good.