Does anyone else fake being happy around people?

[DarknessWave]

Like I fake being happy around people because I don't want them to feel bad if you get what I mean. Also even if I don't fake being happy it's not like they gonna do anything anyways too me. What about you?

 

[LimpandNumb]

Always. On the outside I look great but I'm drowning.

 

[Pluto]

 

[getoutgirl]

Yes. A lot of people do that. But you don't have to feel bad about it. It shows that, in a way, an important one, you care. If even when completely devoid of joy you muster up the energy to fake a smile, which may feel like holding a whole suspension bridge in your cheeks, and to make the other person just not feel worse that day, You Care, and you have a weary kidness in you.
Most days I myself am a depressed clownie. Some days I dont have the bare energy to put on the act, and it shows quickly. And that sucks but that is ok too. You don't have to fake it all the time. It's ok to be visibly sad, numb, or totally off sometimes. A grey lump on the abyssal landscape for a few days. Don't make it a responsability on others, because it's not. The worry and questions will arise and that's the part that may suck if you think they wouldn't like the answers. But confide in some people if you can. To the extent that you feel right. Some will care.
And if that is not an option, we are here for you. Take care <3

 

[DivineSpark]

I dont want to make my friends and family worried, so yeah, I fake it.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

I pretend to the world around me, the world is fake to me... what is real even?

 

[ForeverCaHa]

It takes all of my energy to fake it. I try to be my 'normal' self around friends, but I'm sure they notice something's off. I used to constantly crack jokes and have an (obnoxiously) loud laugh. A week or so ago my friend commented that she hadn't heard me laugh like that in a long time.

I don't want to telegraph my CTB too much, and I also don't want people to worry about my condition, but it's a real struggle to keep up the act

 

[Agon321]

I do this even when I'm alone. In a way, I live in some parallel world.

 

[tiredoflife2]

Yes, it's a bit of masking too I think.

 

[ham and potatoes]

Fake being happy around people? Hell, I fake being happy around myself.
hell, who knows, maby I'll gaslight myself into actually being happy one day

 

[JamesMoonDerWater]

Like I fake being happy around people because I don't want them to feel bad if you get what I mean. Also even if I don't fake being happy it's not like they gonna do anything anyways too me. What about you?

I think we all or most of us feel like always doing that. I do personally because:

1. Not that my friends or family ever helped me that much, it's always about what they think is a solution (god, work, family...) rather than what I feel. Fr, if instead of they just saying that I just need to this or that when I told them what I was going through and instead just asked "how does that make you feel?" or something like "damn, that's awful, then what do YOU think is the best to do?". Going on a tangent, I work at a hospital (that is precisely a main point of a reason why I'm deciding to take these actions) and sometimes we hear about someone offing themselves and how "no one even knew what they were going through ". I'm sure that all people who say that never gave space or the freedom for that one person to say what they were going through.

2. I truly don't want to bother other people. My dad has a wife (not my mom) and 2 kids (not his, I'm his only bio kid) and my mom has a younger daughter, boyfriend. Both have great life, I'm sure that I'm not a concern of them as I used to be when I was a teen 4-5 years ago. I now live alone and although they do worry to some degree in their own ways, I'm sure they have better fish to fry and will forget about me in due time. AS THEY SHOULD! So my parents just arent really my parents anymore I feel like, I'm an adult now, you can only be a kid for so long. The same goes for my friends, which I just dont have any. The closer I have are my colleagues at work. I value their work and I have all of them in very very high role models. They're all examples of professionals in their fields. Still, they're just that and nothing that I could count on. In general, all the people in my life are not directly interacting and living with me. My death is sure to wreak havoc, just as their lives are sure to not be affected in the practical ways by it. My dad has 2 new boys to raise and my mom has my little sister. Neither of my parents were there for me in my childhood when I needed the most, seen as I suffered from bullying, sexual and physical abuse. I don't blame them for any of this, back then times were harder and I'm glad the boys and my sister won't have to go through the same bs I did.

In the end, I notice that the more you fake the better you get at it and the worse you get at it. In the sense that you'll be so good at it that you'll be doing it like autopilot. But at some point you'll hold in so much suffering inside yourself you'll have no other option than to kill yourself.

Oof, sorry for the long tangent about myself, always feel terrible and arrogant for that . but yeah in short it's common at least for what I saw. Although it seems that places such as this you don't have to be afraid of judgement or anything alike. So please, if you feel like venting, do so! This sure does look like the best place to do it...

 

[Mooseanonsky]

I'm autistic/schizoaffective disorder. When I mask people think I'm either calm or just totally unemotional. Meanwhile I'm panicking internally because my social skills are abysmal. I can't pretend to be happy lmao I eventually start saying fucked up shit