Does anyone actually feel better doing more useless crap ?

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I kept being harassed into doing more volunteering because it would so totally make me feel better and make me meet so many more people and i'll totally make friends and even get a girlfriend, i don't feel shit doing more volunteering, haven't met literally a single person that would be dateable (I'm not being difficult, there's just... no women my age whatsoever and clients dont care about the dumb ass cashier lol), no one is like, friend material either. It's just a scam to get me to do more work for free innit ? Literally the only ''upside'' is there's more technically more chances i might find some stupid shit for cheap since im spending more time handling random crap and we get a discount.


Enjoy a free complementary angry Astolfo:

 

[_Maya]

It helps me distract myself from my feelings sometimes so it *technically* makes me "feel better." but only temporary

 

[grapevoid]

I kept being harassed into doing more volunteering because it would so totally make me feel better and make me meet so many more people and i'll totally make friends and even get a girlfriend, i don't feel shit doing more volunteering, haven't met literally a single person that would be dateable (I'm not being difficult, there's just... no women my age whatsoever and clients dont care about the dumb ass cashier lol), no one is like, friend material either. It's just a scam to get me to do more work for free innit ? Literally the only ''upside'' is there's more technically more chances i might find some stupid shit for cheap since im spending more time handling random crap and we get a discount.


Enjoy a free complementary angry Astolfo:

I think there is a lot of focus on how helping others in turn helps ourselves. But, I don't know if that's true for everyone and you can't pour from an empty cup. If volunteering doesn't "fill your cup" so to speak… I mean, ya it's probably a waste of time lol

 

[Unspoken7612]

I don't think your therapists are trying to trick you into doing free work in charity shops.

There definitely are people who benefit from it, especially if you believe in the cause. But it doesn't sound like it is right for you. Is there something else you'd rather be doing? Maybe charities that help the sick aren't your cup of tea, but would you be excited about leading a campaign yourself, for example?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

It helps me distract myself from my feelings sometimes so it *technically* makes me "feel better." but only temporary

It's sadly barely a distraction lol, it's kinda just... being a walmart wagey but for a charity

I think there is a lot of focus on how helping others in turn helps ourselves. But, I don't know if that's true for everyone and you can't pour from an empty cup. If volunteering doesn't "fill your cup" so to speak… I mean, ya it's probably a waste of time lol

I don't think i have the empathy/emotion needed to actually feel good doing it lol

I don't think your therapists are trying to trick you into doing free work in charity shops.

There definitely are people who benefit from it, especially if you believe in the cause. But it doesn't sound like it is right for you. Is there something else you'd rather be doing? Maybe charities that help the sick aren't your cup of tea, but would you be excited about leading a campaign yourself, for example?

Not really ? I feel nothing helping people in general, doesnt matter what clientele it is. The actual job itself doesnt do much change, i wouldnt feel anything if i were leading a campaign than if i was just handing out flyers or whatever.

 

[LimpandNumb]

Would you feel better volunteering with animals?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Would you feel better volunteering with animals?

*Sad allergies noises*

 

[LimpandNumb]

*Sad allergies noises*

Ah that's unfortunate.

 

[Unspoken7612]

Sometimes it isn't about "feeling better" in the moment, it's about giving yourself slightly more of a sense of purpose and/or community which provides a less "instant" boost to your life satisfaction.

Is there really nothing where you think "this is wrong, and should be put right"?

As a slightly left-field example - my dad plays walking football (soccer), and found it a really good way for people of his age to get a bit of exercise and some of the camaraderie that comes with playing sports. But he realised there was no women's team, meaning that local women didn't have the same opportunity. So he's put a lot of work into establishing a women's team, and now a lot of people have access to a form of exercise they wouldn't have otherwise had.

Or what about trying to be nice to people on the internet?

If you really can't think of anything, then is there anything you'd like to do purely for yourself? I have been trying to read books from as many different countries as possible, and also by non-binary authors when possible. Do you want to try new recipes, more independent comic books, different genres of music, birdwatching?

 

[Caffeineaddiction]

It's sadly barely a distraction lol, it's kinda just... being a walmart wagey but for a charity



I don't think i have the empathy/emotion needed to actually feel good doing it lol



Not really ? I feel nothing helping people in general, doesnt matter what clientele it is. The actual job itself doesnt do much change, i wouldnt feel anything if i were leading a campaign than if i was just handing out flyers or whatever.

Could it be, that like me you simply dislike people? I don't know your life or your reasons, but a big part of why I'm on this site is because I have lost hope in humanity as a whole. Maybe that's also what's bothering you. I have a complicated relationship with people, which I can explain if you're curious (it's kind of a weird paradox), but I personally like helping people. However what I like even more is helping animals, and nature. Nature never betrayed me, you get exactly what you signed up for. There are no unmet expectations, and I personally don't care if I live or die so working with dangerous animals can also be fun. It gives you a rush of ecstasy.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Sometimes it isn't about "feeling better" in the moment, it's about giving yourself slightly more of a sense of purpose and/or community which provides a less "instant" boost to your life satisfaction.

Is there really nothing where you think "this is wrong, and should be put right"?

As a slightly left-field example - my dad plays walking football (soccer), and found it a really good way for people of his age to get a bit of exercise and some of the camaraderie that comes with playing sports. But he realised there was no women's team, meaning that local women didn't have the same opportunity. So he's put a lot of work into establishing a women's team, and now a lot of people have access to a form of exercise they wouldn't have otherwise had.

Or what about trying to be nice to people on the internet?

If you really can't think of anything, then is there anything you'd like to do purely for yourself? I have been trying to read books from as many different countries as possible, and also by non-binary authors when possible. Do you want to try new recipes, more independent comic books, different genres of music, birdwatching?

I feel literally nothing by helping people or learning new things, it kinda just... does nothing for me. If anything it kinda just makes me feel worse to see how assholes or people who do no effort whatsoever get everything i'll never have just handed to them for free while i waste my time doing random crap i dont care about lol

Could it be, that like me you simply dislike people? I don't know your life or your reasons, but a big part of why I'm on this site is because I have lost hope in humanity as a whole. Maybe that's also what's bothering you. I have a complicated relationship with people, which I can explain if you're curious (it's kind of a weird paradox), but I personally like helping people. However what I like even more is helping animals, and nature. Nature never betrayed me, you get exactly what you signed up for. There are no unmet expectations, and I personally don't care if I live or die so working with dangerous animals can also be fun. It gives you a rush of ecstasy.

Ngl, i at best tolerate people but im kinda forced to do stupid social stuff i absolutly since no one's helping me in anyway shape or form to like, maybe have a girlfriend and 1-2 good friends which is what i'd want. It's also kinda just always filled with the kind of people i can't stand.
Nature's good, but im allergic to everything from plants to cute fluffy friends lmao, and there isnt really any kind of ''help cool moths and caterpillar frens'' charity.

 

[Caffeineaddiction]

I feel literally nothing by helping people or learning new things, it kinda just... does nothing for me. If anything it kinda just makes me feel worse to see how assholes or people who do no effort whatsoever get everything i'll never have just handed to them for free while i waste my time doing random crap i dont care about lol



Ngl, i at best tolerate people but im kinda forced to do stupid social stuff i absolutly since no one's helping me in anyway shape or form to like, maybe have a girlfriend and 1-2 good friends which is what i'd want. It's also kinda just always filled with the kind of people i can't stand.
Nature's good, but im allergic to everything from plants to cute fluffy friends lmao, and there isnt really any kind of ''help cool moths and caterpillar frens'' charity.

Sorry for the late reply lol, I only come on this site when I'm feeling like shit. Believe it or not, I get that. I am also allergic to most things but there is medicine for that. And it doesn't have to be charity lol. Just do research on moths and caterpillars, like how to keep them, take care of them, maybe try interning at a lab that does this kind of shit.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Sorry for the late reply lol, I only come on this site when I'm feeling like shit. Believe it or not, I get that. I am also allergic to most things but there is medicine for that. And it doesn't have to be charity lol. Just do research on moths and caterpillars, like how to keep them, take care of them, maybe try interning at a lab that does this kind of shit.

We sadly dont have cool moth labs, the only kind of non uni internship/job/etc i saw for labs was like, rat cage cleaner lol. I could just put on a science garb and go bully random moths at the park and tell people to shut up and trust the scientist, theyre gonna what, argue with the crazy moth guy ?

 

[Caffeineaddiction]

We sadly dont have cool moth labs, the only kind of non uni internship/job/etc i saw for labs was like, rat cage cleaner lol. I could just put on a science garb and go bully random moths at the park and tell people to shut up and trust the scientist, theyre gonna what, argue with the crazy moth guy ?

With all my heart, that is geniuenly what you should do. If you're not hurting anyone, moth or human then go study your moths.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

 

[roommate]

But how would I make my crap feel less useless

 

[JesiBel]

Yes, it's a mental consolation to have been useful to others, at least. And it distracts me in my free time.

Like a video game character with new missions. If anyone in the family needs anything I can help. I don't know, tidying up or cleaning, shopping...

Maybe I'm proud that I managed to teach my grandparents and aunt how to use smartphones. They're older and didn't like anything related to technology. But it was positive because they discovered that they could do many interesting things, such as listening to music and watching series that they would never have been able to do elsewhere before.

Maybe teaching something makes you stay in someone's memory... At least in my case, I remember all the people who have taught me something new. (This thought came to my mind while writing this)

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Yes, it's a mental consolation to have been useful to others, at least. And it distracts me in my free time.

Like a video game character with new missions. If anyone in the family needs anything I can help. I don't know, tidying up or cleaning, shopping...

Maybe I'm proud that I managed to teach my grandparents and aunt how to use smartphones. They're older and didn't like anything related to technology. But it was positive because they discovered that they could do many interesting things, such as listening to music and watching series that they would never have been able to do elsewhere before.

Maybe teaching something makes you stay in someone's memory... At least in my case, I remember all the people who have taught me something new. (This thought came to my mind while writing this)

I wish I had the empathy and non-anhedonia necessery for it to work like that

 

[Carrot]

You don't seen to be truly volunteering if that is the way you feel. Maybe you shouldn't do volunteer work for the benefits but just because you believe in the cause? I can understand how it can feel or even actually be exploitative.

When i read the title I expected something else.

If you do nothing, then 100% of things in your life are terrible. If you do anything, clean your room, that's at least one thing better. Your life is now 99.9% bad. It's still garbage, but it's less garbage. Doingstuff is definetly better than not doing it and it makes logical sense to me. I just have good reasons to endulge hedonism (which isn't even that fun) and addictions becuase it is much easier. I choose/was pushed into a path of maximizing whatever happiness I can and die eventually. The closer to death I get, the less fun it seems. I wish I did things differently, but also the older you get, the harder it is to fix it, the less value there is in fixing it. If you fix your life at 15, you still have a lot more years. If you manage to fix it at 20, you still have a lot of years. If you fix at 25, 30, 40, 60.. You still have time, but it's less and less worth. It's a terrible state to be in.

 

[escape_from_hell]

It's not so much a scam to get you to do stuff for free, more so a scam for therapists and other professionals to appear legitimate and get paid for giving out podcaster guru tier shit advice.

They don't actually have legitimate ways to help people other than guilt tripping them for not being good enough. "Have you tried having a kickass life and being a kickass person yet?"

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

You don't seen to be truly volunteering if that is the way you feel. Maybe you shouldn't do volunteer work for the benefits but just because you believe in the cause? I can understand how it can feel or even actually be exploitative.

When i read the title I expected something else.

If you do nothing, then 100% of things in your life are terrible. If you do anything, clean your room, that's at least one thing better. Your life is now 99.9% bad. It's still garbage, but it's less garbage. Doingstuff is definetly better than not doing it and it makes logical sense to me. I just have good reasons to endulge hedonism (which isn't even that fun) and addictions becuase it is much easier. I choose/was pushed into a path of maximizing whatever happiness I can and die eventually. The closer to death I get, the less fun it seems. I wish I did things differently, but also the older you get, the harder it is to fix it, the less value there is in fixing it. If you fix your life at 15, you still have a lot more years. If you manage to fix it at 20, you still have a lot of years. If you fix at 25, 30, 40, 60.. You still have time, but it's less and less worth. It's a terrible state to be in.

I don't believe/care about any cause in general though, and i've already done all the stuff like cleaning my room i can do lol. I'm well dressed, at a healthy weight, my room is clean, i tailor my own clothing, etc, it does absolutly nothing for me. The only difference is i get to suffer in style which... well im a goth, so i guess it kinda just works.

It's not so much a scam to get you to do stuff for free, more so a scam for therapists and other professionals to appear legitimate and get paid for giving out podcaster guru tier shit advice.

They don't actually have legitimate ways to help people other than guilt tripping them for not being good enough. "Have you tried having a kickass life and being a kickass person yet?"

One of them has admited that the dumb social stuff they annoy me into attending is basically just to they can write on a paper that they accomplished something, and the social thing can inflate their numbers by having more people listed as attending there. Both get more funding the more they do it. They've made me sign up for a school ive never attended, and yet a few times a year receive a piece of paper with perfect marks for random shit lol.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I kept being harassed into doing more volunteering because it would so totally make me feel better and make me meet so many more people and i'll totally make friends and even get a girlfriend, i don't feel shit doing more volunteering, haven't met literally a single person that would be dateable (I'm not being difficult, there's just... no women my age whatsoever and clients dont care about the dumb ass cashier lol), no one is like, friend material either. It's just a scam to get me to do more work for free innit ? Literally the only ''upside'' is there's more technically more chances i might find some stupid shit for cheap since im spending more time handling random crap and we get a discount.


Enjoy a free complementary angry Astolfo:

Ehh no one volunteers because they are looking for people to date, network or help people. If they did they wouldn't be there for me. They are just there so they can look themselves in the mirror at the end of the day and tell themselves they are a good person. That said I am jaded. I have no interest whatsoever in volunteering A) I know exactly how much help I would get and it's none. Why would I help people that wouldn't help me B) The only reason I would is because I wanted a job. But I refuse to work for free. You want me pay me.