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I don't have the energy to join in on the clown show.
Me2. I also like to look into their eyes without blinking and inch imperceptibly closer
Being nice to people who are nice to you is not a clown show- it's how you make friends. If a person is being kind to you then being kind to them is how you connect- good intentions towards you are huge, this is something that if reward it you can get people who care about you- if you care about how they feel then in many cases they will care about how you feel. Being nice to others is nit a clown show, it's caring.
Being obnoxiously funny is a clown show. This thread isn't about being nice. I can be kind to people but it involves mellowness not humor.
It's really not amatter of pretending, I'm not saying people should pretend- I'm saying that if you can look at things from the other person's perspective you can find some humor in what they are saying even if it's not your favorite humor.
If they're trying to have fun with you you're probably not realizing all you could be throwing away by cringing- having this reaction when people are trying to be decent to you keeps you from making friends, with all the benefits of a good friendship being thrown away as a matter of habit.
The other person needs to read the room and keep their Seinfeld-like humor to themself or pay with my indifference.
Being nice over humor is important- picking and choosing and saying I'll be nice some of th etime to a person but not at other times makes it tough to make friends and to build a larger social network- hich will include girls more as the network gets bigger, and keeting a girl through friends is one of the best ways to get a lasting relationship.
Adults don't really have friends. They have acquaintances that disappear if the situation changes such as when changing jobs or changing churches, etc
You're the one who's losing out on friendship by being so picky about other people- Seinfeld is possiby the most popular sitcom of all time- I like a lot of the humor here but not all of it- when it's at other people's expense I don't like it, but a lot of the humor is just silly and not at other people's expense- that's good humor.
If you connect more with people you can have lasting friendships as an adult, but to get these lasting connections you need to stop being so critical of others who are trying to be nice to you. You're driving people away by being so critical of them and then this leads to loneliness. If a person has good intentions towards you that's the thing that matters, if you want real friends you should judge others less harshly.
But of course if you treat someone like this you are throwing away a possible friendship by being mean to mean to them when they were making an effort to be kind to you- that's a formula for not having real friendships as an adult.
Even if I played along, these employees at venues wouldn't become friends. They'd become another acquaintance at best.
If you 'play along" you're probably right, but if you are sincerely interested in them and kind to them it will result in real friendships much of the time- the behaviors may look the same , but the attitude is different. If you go around caring about other people some of them will care back, and for the ones who don't you're still making the world a better place.
