Discussion Do you plan to tell online friends?

[meowme0w]

For those of you who may be planning on ctb and have online friends; Will you tell them about it? Either before or after with a scheduled message, do you plan on telling your online friends what's happened to you?

I myself am torn on this...On one hand, maybe they would want to know what happened to me for closure, but on the other, I'm thinking I could just distance myself from them beforehand. Wouldn't it be less painful for them if I unfriended them and maybe even made them think I was a bit of a dick? I think that would hurt less than finding out a dear friend has taken their own life....but at the same time, maybe they'd deserve to know? I feel like it might just be a selfish part of me that wants them to know, though. Obviously, if I left them way before and let them move on from our friendship, I'd be the only one bearing the burden of knowing the truth, in a way it would be easier for me if I knew that they knew. They wouldn't have to deal with the loss of a friend...Idk. I feel like the least selfish thing would be to disappear slowly, make them think I'm just growing distant. I'm fairly confident they wouldn't care too much, but losing a friend to suicide is painful no matter how close you are. Sill, a selfish part of me wants to leave them with an honest final message. It's tough out here

 

[K14~♡]

Whether it's to suicide or you leaving beforehand, they'd still be losing a friend. Though I agree that losing someone to suicide, or just death in general would be more painful than a broken friendship. But what each person prefers would be different. Like I would wanna stay friends with someone till the end even if I know they'll be dying. I think it's more hurtful if someone I value willingly leaves and chooses to exclude me from the rest of their lives. This is just my opinion tho haha ^^; Do what you think is best, or what they think is best (tho would be sus to ask)(plus it is indeed easier to move on from online friendships)

And to answer the question- Yea I plan on telling them, for the ones that will still care and be there. I believe people should know the truth, I don't think that's selfish

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I personally choose not to say anything. As soon as you put it out there, you're going to get a phone that won't stop ringing, text messages that won't quit coming, people coming to your house, an increased chance of being sanctioned, and the risk of cops kicking in your door.

I won't even do a scheduled email, they will know you've gone before they even get, or read it

I don't do social media anymore, so that's one less thing I gotta deal with.

 

[Dinozauria]

I have an online friend I would consider myself close to. I'm hoping to leave a note for my family and request that that online friend is notified of my death
I do understand the want to leave them before dying though cuz it would probably lighten the pain. I just can't go through with lying to a friend

 

[Passenger4224]

I have three close online friends via Discord, none of which know my full name.

I am strongly against ghosting, and for that reason only, I plan on sending them each a thoughtful message seconds before pulling the trigger. I have some of my messages written already. I doubt they will be surprised because I joke about CTB a lot and have explicitly told one of them I am gonna do it one day.

I was thinking of just leaving a "gravestone" on my profile but I don't know how many of them would see it.

Wonder if there is a way I can set the messages so they will be sent automatically later at a certain time. If not, maybe I can write the message and pretend it's an automatic one being sent later. This way no one tries to do anything stupid.

I don't think leaving a note is selfish at all. It's considerate if anything. But be careful with the timing.

 

[Afterglow]

I am not entirely sure.

My online friends are all still very much my friends. I hesitate on this question because having experienced the suicide of 2 of my close friends, it was far easier to recover without a note being left behind, as to with a note left behind.

I feel like a note is much more prone to being reread over and over again for months to years, and that feels awful to give someone.

 

[whitetaildeer]

No. I can't see any reason why they'd grieve me. If they somehow did, then them never knowing why I'm gone is a far better alternative to knowing I killed myself.

 

[walliwalli]

i want to, but i'm struggling to figure out a way to make it delayed.

 

[madwoman]

I am not entirely sure.

My online friends are all still very much my friends. I hesitate on this question because having experienced the suicide of 2 of my close friends, it was far easier to recover without a note being left behind, as to with a note left behind.

I feel like a note is much more prone to being reread over and over again for months to years, and that feels awful to give someone.

This is a good point. I was going back and forth with writing everyone a separate letter but that's exhausting and I don't want something I say for them to hold onto that. I am going to write one generic letter to all so they knew the basics bc people do have questions and it's included in my overall final document for my affairs. But yeah I know some people in my life that would torture themselves rereading and trying to figure out what they could have done and I already hate that.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

one could always just drop hints if they can't say it directly

 

[madwoman]

I'm not sure. I have one online friend who will get notified along with family. But I don't know if I want someone to be tasked with letting everyone else know. I think most people would be better off not knowing but I don't want it to be a secret but I also don't want to be gossiped about. It'll be out of my hands. I'd never tell anyone beforehand. I drifted out of most people's lives.

I think mostly you have to do what feels right for you.

 

[Matchaaa]

I might send it, but I won't go into too much detail about my experience. I might set up a delayed email.