Discussion Do you hope someone in your life could find you on this site?

[ElTopo]

I think we have an inherent desire to be known by others, and some of the stuff I write on this site I've never told anyone, at least not with this much detail.
It's weird to think about it but anyone I know who could stumble on this site would probably recognize me.

 

[moonlightbeach]

the opposite actually. i fear that if someone finds out about this then i will be taken away into a psych ward for god knows how long. it's very easy to recognize me if you know me irl. just need to keep hiding for a few more months.

 

[Carrot]

That sounds unrealistic, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to do anythinf about it other than throw me into a ward, which wouldn't help resolve my problems. And they already know about me being suicidal. So nope.

 

[22yearsbroken]

My partner is fully aware of my intentions and is aware im on here.. we hqve talked about things ... and i know she has been on here to read my writings and she has never really mentioned anything about it ...but i dont mind... she knows my thoughts feelings and reasons so i dont mind ...being open and honest why not...

 

[FoxSauce]

Nope. Prob I'll be scolded or "convinced" of leaving so no

 

[darksouls]

I have no social contacts

 

[ElTopo]

Thinking about it this profile is probably the closest thing to a suicide letter anyone is ever getting from me, so that"s one of the reasons I'd probably wouldn't feel bad about it

 

[cme-dme]

Sometimes, yes. I feel like sometimes my postings here are a cry for help. I think if one of my friends found it that'd be better. I used to give advice about methods to people here though and I really regret that. Obviously this forum has a reputation so I would worry that I would upset my friends by being on here...

 

[amerie]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fantasize about it quite often

But logically no, they'd probably mock me or see me as weak even if they didn't show it out loud. I'm on this site for a reason.

 

[popcorn1234]

I've fantasized about my loved finding out that I am on this site, in hopes they will understand everything. But, they won't understand, which is something I am having difficulty accepting.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Fuck no! That would be my worst nightmare!

 

[star.trip]

I hope not. I think they'd feel bad

 

[Forever Sleep]

When I was younger, I probably would have said 'yes'. I was maybe more open to 'recovery' at that point. Now though- no. There's nothing anyone could do. Weirdly though, I'd be slightly more keen on people finding me here after I'd CTB.

My ideation started young- age 10 because of a (suspected) narcissist. It felt like my parents either took their side or, brushed the whole thing under the carpet. I suppose I feel like more people knowing would be some form of retribution. Even though my reasons for wanting out now have moved on from that, they still set the ball rolling. So, I suppose there is a part of me that wants them to be blamed. I know that's spiteful but, I don't care. They were so spiteful.