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easypeasy

easypeasy

The.only.white.sheep
Jul 1, 2024
192
Do you find that things happen to try and stop you?

This weekend I'm planning my exit. I've printed any letters I needed. Arranged my will - bound and certified. Cancelled subscriptions. Listed my super and bank/health insurance details for cancelling.

The past month I have been quiet. Just now I got a text from my good friend who has done the most to try and save and help me since the physical pain left me ruined3 years ago. He said "I'm away right now but I just want you to know I'm here if you need to vent/cry".

It's like people know what's about to happen. Partly because I've distanced myself since my situation worsened. Talking about it definitely makes me feel sad and in no way benefits me.

The thing stopping me is not wanting to hurt my friends who went above and beyond to love me. Sadly.. my family who are the reason I can't go in with this level of pain…aren't the ones who will mourn me. It's my friends who will struggle.

If you've taken the time to read this, thank you. It goes against my nature to hurt people I love but there's nothing left to try. No conversation or medical procedure left unturned. I hate that I will hurt them. Especially my best friend. She will pay the price for what happened to me and what I couldn't endure.
 
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Poptart

Poptart

Try me Frozen
Nov 7, 2019
99
I've heard of this happening to many people - serendipitous moments where people reach out to express love & support out of nowhere.

I believe in pre-cognition to some extent. Some people can sense tragedy before it happens. I also believe the universe has an "end goal" and will do what it needs to achieve it. Even if it means stopping you from ctb, specifically, right now.

it sounds like you have been blessed with really good people. It's good to feel love. Let them love you while you're here. They'll love you when you leave, too.
 
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easypeasy

easypeasy

The.only.white.sheep
Jul 1, 2024
192
I've heard of this happening to many people - serendipitous moments where people reach out to express love & support out of nowhere.

I believe in pre-cognition to some extent. Some people can sense tragedy before it happens. I also believe the universe has an "end goal" and will do what it needs to achieve it. Even if it means stopping you from ctb, specifically, right now.

it sounds like you have been blessed with really good people. It's good to feel love. Let them love you while you're here. They'll love you when you leave, too.
I agree with everything you said. This friend I left him a sum of money in my will. I took care of those who did love me.
 
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Reactions: Mooncry, galaxid and Poptart
easypeasy

easypeasy

The.only.white.sheep
Jul 1, 2024
192
Update: the friend who messaged me tried calling me today (the day I plan to ctb.). I don't know if I should message them or ignore them. I suppose a message saying "thanks for reaching out but I'm not up for chatting atm" or a meme? I don't want him to blame himself or feel like he could've stopped me. He on virus Love you :) has A sixth sense and he's stressed.
 

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