Do You Ever Look At Things You Know Will Make You Upset

[Anonymoususer1234]

I keep going scrolling through certain tags on social media even though I know they'll make me angry/anxious/ashamed/generally upset.

It almost feels...hypnotic. I don't know why I keep doing it.

Does anyone else do the same thing/something similar or is it just me?

 

[soonatpeace777888]

My brain is addicted to pain, which is why I hate it and myself.

 

[HighFlight]

I do, but don't know why. I don't get upset over it, but just watch and scroll unemotionally. And it's getting worse, where I'm spending more time doing it. Can't stop...

 

[enough of this]

I try to avoid anything like that.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

I try to avoid anything like that.

I should do the same. I just don't know how to stop. It's embarrassing.

 

[Celerity]

Yes, I think it's because we're driven to try to learn something from our bad experiences, even if very often there is nothing to be learned. Our mind goes over a past experiences again and again and again hoping for a new insight that never comes or reexamines a frightening possibility in the hope that it can be avoided. It doesn't need to be an exact match for our mind to find it engaging; it just needs to tap into the same emotional threads.

Back when I had a lot of unresolved childhood trauma from abuse/neglect by the adults in my life, I used to be captivated by harrowing stories about abuses of power and sadism. Even though they understandably depressed me, I was drawn to them nonetheless.

This and other experiences in life suggest to me that seeking happiness is not actually a primary instinctual drive. The human mind seems much better suited to focus on negative rather than positive stimuli since it arguably aided survival in our dangerous evolutionary past. I see this phenomenon you're talking about as an extension of this instinct.

That's my theory anyway.

 

[busybee]

I do. When I am upset I don't feel as empty.

 

[Zebulon]

I talk to people whom I know will make me unhappy, because the have everything figured out and cant understand our struggles

 

[psp3000]

absolutely it's just another form of self harm for me but sometimes I do it/seek out upsetting things without knowing it