do you ever find things interfering with ctb plans like a sign

[wonderfulheaven]

i think twice now i've been stopped by forces completely oblivious to my plans.

the first was years ago when i considered jumping in front of a car and a cat walked up to me, nuzzled against me and let me pet it a lot, i stopped crying and went home thinking about that

something also happened last night when i made a new friend who invited me to play a game just after i cut myself and was thinking hard about how i was going to go about ctb which really took me out of it

things like this don't really happen in my day to day life, so the timing makes it kind of eerie. does anything similar happen to anyone else and see it as a sort of sign to "stay", like maybe something needs you? i wish it didn't take my pondering death for good things to finally happen to me

 

[Edu Ardanuy]

It might happen, you know. there's a lot of things that happens and we can't explain. Well, I have been feeling suicide, even bought SN (And received the package), no signs at sight to stop my plan so far, so I'll take that, according to your logic, if there aren't any 'signs', that means its really meant to happen too, the suicide.

 

[qsocdu]

Yeah, there was this time where I saw a pic on reddit of a drawing that showed a rope for hanging, inside the circle of the rope everything was colored whereas outside of it was all black and white, like suicide being the only hope. I was moved by the drawing and imagined to do a edited photo of it in real life instead of a drawing. But the rope kept twisting in itself and I couldn't do a circle with the rope as in the drawing. I thought of having a sunset inside the circle so the pic would look cool and when I went to see the sunset I saw some smoke in the sky that formed a drawing similar to the twisted rope. I got chills from it, looked like a message from the universe. I got that on video btw

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No. I'm unable to ctb because of my parents being so overprotective. This doesn't mean that I shouldn't ctb. It instead means that I have to find a way around this major issue

 

[novemberrain]

i think twice now i've been stopped by forces completely oblivious to my plans.

the first was years ago when i considered jumping in front of a car and a cat walked up to me, nuzzled against me and let me pet it a lot, i stopped crying and went home thinking about that

something also happened last night when i made a new friend who invited me to play a game just after i cut myself and was thinking hard about how i was going to go about ctb which really took me out of it

things like this don't really happen in my day to day life, so the timing makes it kind of eerie. does anything similar happen to anyone else and see it as a sort of sign to "stay", like maybe something needs you? i wish it didn't take my pondering death for good things to finally happen to me

I ordered SN at the beginning of November and shortly after, the postal service went on strike. No idea when they will be back to work. Fml…

 

[dontwakemeup]

I never had any signs not to ctb. All my attempts and memories of those days were the happiest days of my life! I remember each attempt but I'll narrow it down to my last one.

I felt invisible, nobody noticed me. I walked into a drug store literally crying, my eyes were swollen and I looked disheveled. I purchased a bunch of pills and 1 bottle of pop. The cashier never looked at me, greeted me or acknowledged I was there. It was kind of like a out of body experience, like I was watching myself doing it.

I took that as a sign I was already dead and my plan would work as I felt nobody could see me. That's the closest I got to a sign.

 

[easypeasy]

Yes…this happens to me. The last time I had a plan and ready to carry it out, my friend sent me some messages out of the blue. I love her dearly. I think we have. A strong telepathic connection. I realised I hadn't done enough to ctb…so I wrote her a long letter and did a few other things to make me feel less guilty.

I never had any signs not to ctb. All my attempts and memories of those days were the happiest days of my life! I remember each attempt but I'll narrow it down to my last one.

I felt invisible, nobody noticed me. I walked into a drug store literally crying, my eyes were swollen and I looked disheveled. I purchased a bunch of pills and 1 bottle of pop. The cashier never looked at me, greeted me or acknowledged I was there. It was kind of like a out of body experience, like I was watching myself doing it.

I took that as a sign I was already dead and my plan would work as I felt nobody could see me. That's the closest I got to a sign.

Wow…sounds like you were in a bad place. Do you mind if I ask what tablets you bought over the counter? In my years of research I've not discovered any such medication.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Yes…this happens to me. The last time I had a plan and ready to carry it out, my friend sent me some messages out of the blue. I love her dearly. I think we have. A strong telepathic connection. I realised I hadn't done enough to ctb…so I wrote her a long letter and did a few other things to make me feel less guilty.

Wow…sounds like you were in a bad place. Do you mind if I ask what tablets you bought over the counter? In my years of research I've not discovered any such medication.

I was in a terrible place, a nightmare! I purchased 2 bottles of Tylenol pm and a bottle of benadryl. In my mind, I didn't want to overdue it! I felt that formula was enough to die.

 

[Forveleth]

No. There is not higher power/greater purpose to the universe. Things just happen as they happen and humans like to assign meaning to them. There have been plenty of people to CTB where someone arrived home just too late, where a friend called them an hour later. We only talk about the cases where someone didn't go through with it because we like to look for something bigger than our own existence.

I see it as just an annoying interruption.

 

[easypeasy]

I was in a terrible place, a nightmare! I purchased 2 bottles of Tylenol pm and a bottle of benadryl. In my mind, I didn't want to overdue it! I felt that formula was enough to die.

Thank you for sharing your intimate moments and feelings. I know it helps a lot of us ₍˄⌓⃘ ˳̫̬ ⌓⃘˄₎ค˒

 

[dontwakemeup]

Thank you for sharing your intimate moments and feelings. I know it helps a lot of us ₍˄⌓⃘ ˳̫̬ ⌓⃘˄₎ค˒

You're welcome. I use to read post looking for pill numbers as advice lol. Now people know exactly what not to do!

 

[anagram]

I was using a tourniquet against my neck at night while everybody was asleep. It went really well and I nearly passed out and died. And then my mom comes running into my room because she had a dream that something bad happened and that I was dying. This was uncalled for. This was super natural. When I'm close to ending it, the world gives stupid curveballs that try to interrupt and try and change my mind/make me uncertain with my decision. My schizo theory is that there's such a thing called archon harassment.

Suicide actually requires very strong willpower and free will. Everything will try and deter you and try to stop you. Even your own mind as contradictory as it seems. People commit suicide more on drugs because it make the mind uninhibited.

 

[foreverlanguish]

I personally believe that anything that tries to stop you from CTB are obstacles. I remember when I was 12 I tried drowning myself and when I was submerged for a bit, I saw total blackness for a split second, and that scared me enough to back out. I also noticed that, like you, whenever I attempt and back out of it, something good happens to me, which I do think is kind of strange. In the end though I don't think I'd worry too much if it's a sign that you should reconsider. Really nothing can stop you but yourself.