Venting Depression is fucking killing my libido.

[ilovjoydivision]

(Im not a fluent english speaker)
I'm turning 19 tomorrow and I'm still a virgin. Not because i can't talk to girls or smth like that, but because I can't feel any sexual or romantical feeling since my 15's, when the thoughts started, this is so annoying.
My female friend confessed she had feelings for me and tried to have sex w me, but i refused and she is sad now. Im feeling like shit man, This kind of thoughts and feeling took my adolescence away from me and is starting to hurt people i love.

 

[Seaghost]

You said you refused to have sex with your female friend. Did you explained her why? If not, you should do it. I know mental stuff can eats up yourself easily but when we don't talk people who love us can't understand.

Btw. it's not a problem when you are still a virgin. That don't makes you a bad human or something else.

Do you have mental health in your country? I can feel you and it must be really hard when "bad" thougts are killing such feelings. It's a shit when you cant enjoy things like this. Hopefully it gets better really soon!!!

 

[ilovjoydivision]

You said you refused to have sex with your female friend. Did you explained her why? If not, you should do it. I know mental stuff can eats up yourself easily but when we don't talk people who love us can't understand.

Btw. it's not a problem when you are still a virgin. That don't makes you a bad human or something else.

Do you have mental health in your country? I can feel you and it must be really hard when "bad" thougts are killing such feelings. It's a shit when you cant enjoy things like this. Hopefully it gets better really soon!!!

Sure, I told her that we are just friends and i don't feel anything for her, but she can't believe and thinks something is wrong with HER instead.

Yes, i live in South America. When i was 16 i considered searching for a mental health professional, but i gave up. Feeling like shit for 5 years is not easy, I'm holding myself back to not CTB with my father's shotgun.

Thank you for replying to my first post on this forum, Seaghost. Wish you the best.

 

[Seaghost]

Sure, I told her that we are just friends and i don't feel anything for her, but she can't believe and thinks something is wrong with HER instead.

No i meant did you told her, that your depression kills feelings in that way?

Yes, i live in South America. When i was 16 i considered searching for a mental health professional, but i gave up. Feeling like shit for 5 years is not easy, I'm holding myself back to not CTB with my father's shotgun.

No matter how long, feeling like shit is never easy :).
So you never get really prof. help? I don't wanna sound like a pro lifer but when you never have had help, wouldn't that be worth another try? The shotgun won't walk away.
Btw. if some wants to end it then that's the way it is. But when you use your fathers gun you make him "responsible" for your dead.

Thank you for replying to my first post on this forum, Seaghost. Wish you the best.

You're welcome :]!

 

[ilovjoydivision]

No i meant did you told her, that your depression kills feelings in that way?

No no, I don't talk to my friends or family about that.

No matter how long, feeling like shit is never easy :).
So you never get really prof. help? I don't wanna sound like a pro lifer but when you never have had help, wouldn't that be worth another try? The shotgun won't walk away.

I'm not brave enough to try, the fact that another person would know me and what is on my mind scares me a lot.

But when you use your fathers gun you make him "responsible" for your dead.

Yeah, i was thinking about that. Other methods available are strangulation or hanging.
I love my dad, he teached me everything i know about music, this holds me back.

 

[Seaghost]

No no, I don't talk to my friends or family about that.

May I ask why? Under the requirement that you have a good relationship with your parents I would say, thats exactly what for family is her. To support and to help each other no matter the odds.

I'm not brave enough to try, the fact that another person would know me and what is on my mind scares me a lot.

When you are talking of friends are we talking of REAL friends? Wenn they're real friends they will be there for you. Similar to family :].

Yeah, i was thinking about that. Other methods available are strangulation or hanging.
I love my dad, he teached me everything i know about music, this holds me back.

And I would assume he loves you too. And he would try everything to help his son.

May I ask why you're so extremly sacred to talk with others about your inner self?


Btw. If I'm talking to much of into direction of health instead of ctb. Say something and I will stop. But at the moment I have a feel that you can be able to handle that if you allow yourself help from others.

Oh and happy birthday :].