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abyss

abyss

Member
Jul 13, 2022
96
I was thinking of ending things today but might move it to next Friday due to stress of commitments this week. Such as a lot of work stuff, final round interviews, seeing doctors etc. I find my plans are being delayed by these bullshit things that don't matter. I have nothing more to say to anyone I know or knew in a personal capacity including my family and nothing else I want to actually do before CTB. I've decided to die. But I think I am afraid of a failed attempt and it making a stressful week even worse or wanting to end things on a calmer note.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it better to just do it when I get the impulse instead of planning for a particular day?
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
depends on the person, depends on the reasons for postponing. i personally prefer impulsive, when i feel like it.
 
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H

Hope:-)

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2022
1,120
Date-wise it depends on whether you plan to do it in a hotel or something. I'm doing sn so I don't have the luxury of an impulsive action...the method has to be somewhat planned. If I don't get my meds in time I will also have to postpone but really don't want to.
 
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StarlightDreamer

StarlightDreamer

Infinity Weaver
Aug 2, 2022
111
Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it better to just do it when I get the impulse instead of planning for a particular day?
I've found planning important when arranging self-deliverance. In my mind, one has to be damn sure their affairs are settled, and they're at peace before they pull that trigger, drink that poison, or whatever else. As Life_and_Death demonstrates though, my feelings are hardly universal.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
As Life_and_Death demonstrates though, my feelings are hardly universal.
i have bpd and am probably too open about my situation. i also have a bit of freedom where i go for random walks at night, so impulsive just works for me.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,451
I do think that if someone sets a specific date for ctb, then there is a chance of something interrupting plans as after all life is unpredictable. I would see it as best to do it when it feels right as long as the method is planned out to reduce the chance of failure.
 
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abyss

abyss

Member
Jul 13, 2022
96
In terms of having my affairs settled, I have everything to do with SN prepared and ready, my suicide note, instructions, plan for where I am going to do it (in my apt and leave a timed message). I don't want my body to decompose too much, nothing much I can do other than set the message as early as possible.
But these random commitments and stressors have no bearing on anything. I think if I wasn't working it would be a lot easier to just set a date and go for it. I have been dreading work and everything I have to do this week moreso than the implications of CTB which isn't right.
 
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