Dealing with a pissed friend.

[ArtsyDrawer]

A discord friend of mine had a nightmare in which she stumbled on my corpse.
There are a few reasons why this is troubling, but primarily because I see ctb as a final solution of sorts. I admit I'm in not as bad shape as many people are, and am dealing with several ways to count my blessings and cope with my shit. Even with that, ctb is not completely off the table.
I admit I'm being a hypocrite here because I have talked her out of it, and she went through a rather rough part of life herself. I cannot say which one's worse as we both encounter ideas that are impossible for the other to fathom, and I admit I'm blinded, perhaps, by bias against my own condition.

With all this, she's pissed and has attempted to guilt trip me against it. I've done my best to put myself on her side of the argument. I can see how she considers it a selfish act. I also see her as rather selfish for the guilt tripping.
Time has passed since and she seems to have calmed down, but that idea, I believe, will always stick with her in the back of her head.
I'm doubtful it would be possible to go out without any damage at all, but I want to try to minimalise the damage, at least.
I don't know what to do here. Suggestions?

 

[GeorgeJL]

A discord friend of mine had a nightmare in which she stumbled on my corpse.
There are a few reasons why this is troubling, but primarily because I see ctb as a final solution of sorts. I admit I'm in not as bad shape as many people are, and am dealing with several ways to count my blessings and cope with my shit. Even with that, ctb is not completely off the table.
I admit I'm being a hypocrite here because I have talked her out of it, and she went through a rather rough part of life herself. I cannot say which one's worse as we both encounter ideas that are impossible for the other to fathom, and I admit I'm blinded, perhaps, by bias against my own condition.

With all this, she's pissed and has attempted to guilt trip me against it. I've done my best to put myself on her side of the argument. I can see how she considers it a selfish act. I also see her as rather selfish for the guilt tripping.
Time has passed since and she seems to have calmed down, but that idea, I believe, will always stick with her in the back of her head.
I'm doubtful it would be possible to go out without any damage at all, but I want to try to minimalise the damage, at least.
I don't know what to do here. Suggestions?

Yes tell all your friends and family about suicide. And desenitize them to the idea. Even if it's just indirectly. Then you can do what I did and tell them that your planing on ending your life when you are an old man. You can bring up suicide talking about cases in the news or whatever. Talk about doctor assisted suicide, etc. Then when you do go it won't be such a shock. But you have to give it time.