Damn

[Nem]

All of my suffering can be traced back to a relationship I had with a sociopath/control freak. I have huge troubles not thinking or regretting this relationship, I swear it consumes me on a daily basis
Peace/hugs

 

[Final Escape]

Hey I know u may not be able to do this and may not be interested but it really helped me so I want to share. There might be a cheaper way to access the EMDR eye movement tool but I found this program called virtual emdr and it actually helped me move past the repeat trauma of multiple abortions very quickly. I wasn't even going through the right way of using the program but it still worked. Basically all u need is a lap top or tablet and some head phones for the sound. But as u watch the eye movement tool and listen to the sound u think up the painful memories as u watch and it processes the trauma and u no longer think about it constantly or daily. I believe there is a free trial period. I would typically do like a half hour or hour session. You just go by what feels right. Basically what happens is your eyes are doing the same thing they do during REM sleep only u are awake.

 

[MeltingHeart]

All of my suffering can be traced back to a relationship I had with a sociopath/control freak. I have huge troubles not thinking or regretting this relationship, I swear it consumes me on a daily basis
Peace/hugs

I can relate to this is a bit. sorry for you. coercive control caused my breakdown (in part)

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I have something similar but in my case it was trying to befriend a sociopath who bullied me and took my childhood friends away from me.
Lots of my fears stem from that relationship.

 

[noctiva]

Hey I know u may not be able to do this and may not be interested but it really helped me so I want to share. There might be a cheaper way to access the EMDR eye movement tool but I found this program called virtual emdr and it actually helped me move past the repeat trauma of multiple abortions very quickly. I wasn't even going through the right way of using the program but it still worked. Basically all u need is a lap top or tablet and some head phones for the sound. But as u watch the eye movement tool and listen to the sound u think up the painful memories as u watch and it processes the trauma and u no longer think about it constantly or daily. I believe there is a free trial period. I would typically do like a half hour or hour session. You just go by what feels right. Basically what happens is your eyes are doing the same thing they do during REM sleep only u are awake.

Hei, can you give me the name of the program you used please? I've googled 'virtual emdr' and there are multiple sites, all of whom you need to pay either straight up or after a 7 day trial. I'd be very interested in trying it though! If you have used a program you pay for, can you let me know which one? They all of course have great reviews, but they also all want your money. So a recommendation would be really awesome!

 

[Moonicide]

I'm so sorry, love... I understand how consuming and torturous that can be. I think it's really hard for us to see the red flags when we have rose colored glasses on, or even if we are aware, we ignore them. We're just so in love with them, you know? I absolutely adore my boyfriend, but I am aware he has abusive tendencies and I take it. The things you put up with when you are in love. I've made excuses for him. I've even said to myself: I know him. I know his heart, and this is not it. But I've written a letter for him to read after I ctb, finally coming clean and telling him despite how much I loved and continue to love him, he was very abusive and he broke me in a sense.

He's not the main reason why I'm ctbing though. I wrote that in there and put emphasis in it. Because it wasn't his fault. He hurt me, and there is blood on his hands, but he ultimately did not kill me. I killed myself.

Wishing you nothing, but love and peace.
We're here for you.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've noticed alot of people here from destructive relationships, myself included. It's good to have people here that can relate. But it's also bad that we're here in the first place. My heart goes out to you.