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G

Gaming Chicken

Waiting for the bus
Dec 7, 2022
26
So I've been wanting to ctb for some time, but my small group of friends has been keeping me here. Recently I've been wanting to ctb more and more but I've only stopped myself because of some recent fights with the friends. (I'm basically afraid of them blaming themselves regardless of what I leave in my note.) Is there some way to assure them it's not their fault while I'm around without having them try to stop me? Or do I have to hope the note will be enough?

I've also just thought about making it an accident. Going 75 on an icy road and losing control on a turn would work, but at that point I'm risking a debilitating injury rather than having the desired effect. Sorry if this reads a little choppy, I've never been the best at writing and it's been eating away at me.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,736
At least in my opinion, I think that it's never a good idea being open about wishes and plans to ctb as it could just make things worse and others could potentially try to interfere. It's just too risky as so many people in this world don't accept suicide as being a rational and valid option, they see life as something that must be prolonged. So I believe that a well explained note to act as a form of closure for them would be the best thing to do.

And I would also say the whole accident plan sounds so risky, I really understand the wish to want to leave in that way but it sounds horrific to me ending up with some sort of injury from the plan going wrong. I really do hate the fact how voluntarily dying is potentially very difficult.
 
G

Gaming Chicken

Waiting for the bus
Dec 7, 2022
26
At least in my opinion, I think that it's never a good idea being open about wishes and plans to ctb as it could just make things worse and others could potentially try to interfere. It's just too risky as so many people in this world don't accept suicide as being a rational and valid option, they see life as something that must be prolonged. So I believe that a well explained note to act as a form of closure for them would be the best thing to do.

And I would also say the whole accident plan sounds so risky, I really understand the wish to want to leave in that way but it sounds horrific to me ending up with some sort of injury from the plan going wrong. I really do hate the fact how voluntarily dying is potentially very difficult.
I 100% understand what you mean about sharing my plans with others. And the one person I'm worried about blaming themselves is also the only one that could get remotely close to talking me out of it. I don't think that any note would be able to explain what I'm thinking. She's had it rough and has been suicidal before. And I'm afraid of starting some sort of trend in my friend group as they all depend on her and she depends on me for support. If I do this and she follows suit there's no way the rest of the group doesn't. It's just a shitty situation all round.

And I said 75 mph in my previous post but it'd be closer to 100 and I'd definitely take some measures to make sure I don't make it out, but again that isn't a guarantee. This would still hurt her, but not in as big of a way as ctbing with a note.
 

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