Venting CTBing for Philosophical Reasons

[Spectre]

If I have to be so honest, my suicide story isn't even that serious. My parents are well off and I'm financially okay, my situation isn't precarious, I'm not in chronic pain, not autistic or severely neurodivergent, I don't have any addictions and honestly don't even like drugs or alcohol, I'm not an incel and can get some if I want it, my entire family are caring, loving, supportive and go out of their way to support me in any way that they can. I'm just like really unimpressed with this world. It's really boring and there's nothing I really want to do so I kinda want to skip to the ending. Best best-case scenario after death is alot more interesting. Idk I'm probably the poster child of why this site is a bad idea because I have no real reason to kill myself and all of my dumb current problems are very solvable. I'm just a nihilist who is incredibly unimpressed with this reality and no longer wishes to renew their subscription. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's not for validation. I'm just like bored

 

[pictures]

i can respect this

 

[Praestat_Mori]

To me that is interesting bc seemingly you have what lot's of other people don't have (incl. good health). Any reason is valid, no doubt, even if it is difficult to understand. Honestly, I think deep inside you there is sth you would like to do or at least try if you have the chance but sometimes it can be difficult to find it.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

It's really boring and there's nothing I really want to do so I kinda want to skip to the ending.

Hmm
Hmmmmm
Hmm

 

[Deleted member 8119]

I'm just a nihilist

You should try doing part on something you believe in, why is not suffering purposeless? It can't not matter by definition!

Not only you will help others, but also yourself.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

You could try juggling on a motorcycle.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Oh yeah, just my opinion, but philosophy is sth people can think about when they don't have any other irl problems anymore.

 

[Spectre]

You could try juggling on a motorcycle.

Why on earth would I do something so gaush

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Why on earth would I do something so gaush

You're allowed to dress fashionably while doing so, of course.

 

[Spectre]

You're allowed to dress fashionably while doing so, of course.

Of course, I'm allowed to dress fashionably. The real question is can anyone stop me from doing so.

You should try doing part on something you believe in, why is not suffering purposeless? It can't not matter by definition!

Not only you will help others, but also yourself.

But do I want to help most people? One of the heaviest realizations I've had is most people are terrible people. The majority of people are racist, homophobic, ableist or some other kind of predigious. Even when not people lie, defraud, steal and are capable of unholy atrocities. I mean the rape of Nanjing wasn't done by hardened criminals it was just everyday people put in an extrodinary circumstance. Chances are you and me would do the same thing if in their place. I use to to do alot of charity work and even wanted to work for the IMF at one point but now it really doesn't seem worth it to engage with this reality. It's both boring and like unnecessarily cruel and evil at the same time. A real boring dystopia.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sometimes I wonder if being happy or content is about contrast. If everything is shit in life with little hope of making things better, of course we're going to be miserable. Still, if we get everything we want with not much effort. If we've never gone through much hardship, how would we even know what to be grateful for? It would be more of an abstract concept. Like- thank goodness I'm not starving or homeless but- the likelihood is I never will be so, why personally worry about it or even be that grateful for what I have? Not sure if that's the case? I can understand why everything would seem bland then.

A bit like playing a game in sandbox mode where you can't die but don't really achieve anything either. I wonder if that's why the very rich and successful sometimes take up very dangerous sports or hobbies- to feel something.

 

[OutOfThisBody]

If I have to be so honest, my suicide story isn't even that serious. My parents are well off and I'm financially okay, my situation isn't precarious, I'm not in chronic pain, not autistic or severely neurodivergent, I don't have any addictions and honestly don't even like drugs or alcohol, I'm not an incel and can get some if I want it, my entire family are caring, loving, supportive and go out of their way to support me in any way that they can. I'm just like really unimpressed with this world. It's really boring and there's nothing I really want to do so I kinda want to skip to the ending. Best best-case scenario after death is alot more interesting. Idk I'm probably the poster child of why this site is a bad idea because I have no real reason to kill myself and all of my dumb current problems are very solvable. I'm just a nihilist who is incredibly unimpressed with this reality and no longer wishes to renew their subscription. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's not for validation. I'm just like bored

People always try to say that ctb is done because of mental illness but that isn't always true.

 

[Cucumberman]

If I have to be so honest, my suicide story isn't even that serious. My parents are well off and I'm financially okay, my situation isn't precarious, I'm not in chronic pain, not autistic or severely neurodivergent, I don't have any addictions and honestly don't even like drugs or alcohol, I'm not an incel and can get some if I want it, my entire family are caring, loving, supportive and go out of their way to support me in any way that they can. I'm just like really unimpressed with this world. It's really boring and there's nothing I really want to do so I kinda want to skip to the ending. Best best-case scenario after death is alot more interesting. Idk I'm probably the poster child of why this site is a bad idea because I have no real reason to kill myself and all of my dumb current problems are very solvable. I'm just a nihilist who is incredibly unimpressed with this reality and no longer wishes to renew their subscription. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's not for validation. I'm just like bored

Finally, someone to relate to. I tried to ctb a few years back because of this same reason. A close friend asked why I did it.. I was shy to admit that I was just bored and everything seemed pointless.. I don't see any meaning or purpose.. just that like other organisms, we're just here simply to live (thankfully he wasn't judgemental and got my point). He's the only one who knows. My attempt obviously failed, and currently am glad it did. I found myself a little side quest to keep me going for a bit. When that's done, who knows, I might also skip to the ending then. The feeling is still here, it's just that I got something I can busy myself with now.

 

[Ashu]

Oh yeah, just my opinion, but philosophy is sth people can think about when they don't have any other irl problems anymore.

It's some people's way of looking at real problems.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's some people's way of looking at real problems.

You are right. My post wasn't completely thoughtful. I agree people can find solutions to their problems in philosophy.

 

[Themogger]

Relatable
Relatable. Owlman would probably make a better profile picture than the Spectre. He's the ultimate nihilist

 

[Spectre]

I still feel this way sometimes. But not as much anymore

 

[roommate]

I still feel this way sometimes. But not as much anymore

Nice to read you are doing a bit better :)

 

[heyismeman]

If I have to be so honest, my suicide story isn't even that serious. My parents are well off and I'm financially okay, my situation isn't precarious, I'm not in chronic pain, not autistic or severely neurodivergent, I don't have any addictions and honestly don't even like drugs or alcohol, I'm not an incel and can get some if I want it, my entire family are caring, loving, supportive and go out of their way to support me in any way that they can. I'm just like really unimpressed with this world. It's really boring and there's nothing I really want to do so I kinda want to skip to the ending. Best best-case scenario after death is alot more interesting. Idk I'm probably the poster child of why this site is a bad idea because I have no real reason to kill myself and all of my dumb current problems are very solvable. I'm just a nihilist who is incredibly unimpressed with this reality and no longer wishes to renew their subscription. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's not for validation. I'm just like bored

If I was in your situation then I won't do it so I don't harm all my loved ones and wait for normal death then. If you're not in some massive pain don't inflict it on others