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Texas
I agree, I think survival instinct is a big reason why I haven't done anything yet.
It is indeed sad that you have developed a guide. No complaints about the guide, mind you; I just find it infuriating that your talents are reduced to this, and all because of a ruthlessly inequitable system . Someday, probably after you and I have ctb'd, people will take up guns and settle scores against this rotten system that imprisons us with its' bovine propaganda, its' lust for gold, and all for what? For the dubious privilege of shopping at Walmart? Best of luck, friend. Vyyf the American Dream!
S.I. is a major challenge; people are dismissive of ctb, as if, somehow, it flies in the face of all reason. I personally have been waiting for death a long, long time. Enough of the waiting!, I say to myself. Others dismiss ctb as cowardice, when in fact it takes all the courage an individual can muster. I rehearse ctb scenarios daily while I chain smoke, hoping, just hoping that addiction will settle the matter for me. I scout out jumping locations, for example, while keeping in mind that a bare minimum of 150 ft. is an unwritten requirement to insure death. At the same time, I think of full suspension hanging in my basement and the reaction of my neighbors, as if what they think is awfully important to begin with. Then, it's on to c.o.; what a life, huh?
