Story CTB on schedule or wait?

[soon06132022]

Yesterday I had tried to schedule a meeting with a woman that I love and hate. We have a complicated relationship to be sure, but she was one of the people that I wanted to send a letter to after I CTB. The two ideas that I have running through my head: Good, you miss your opportunity for one last good bye, my schedule is set, and I am ready to CTB. The second, does it really matter if I put it off another week?

What would you do?

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like only you can decide what is the best thing to do as after all, it is your life and your decision. I think that personally I would never be able to stick to a set date for ctb, I would leave instead when the time feels right. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do.

 

[soon06132022]

I feel like only you can decide what is the best thing to do as after all, it is your life and your decision. I think that personally I would never be able to stick to a set date for ctb, I would leave instead when the time feels right. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do.

CTB has felt right for the past month for sure, and off and on for the last 10 years. Recent events in my life just gave me the last nudge that I need to cash in my chips and CTB. Part of me hates the person and the role that she played over the past month, but because she has been a significant part of my life, I know that she will struggle with closure. The meeting or the letter are not for me, but for her to understand what lead me down this path, and how I am okay with the choices that I have made.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

This is a really hard question to answer. For me, the only way I wouldn't do it at my scheduled time is if I didn't feel ready, so then I would just schedule it out further and try again.

The love/hate relationship you have sounds very complex. Complex relationships drive me crazy, so in your situation, the last thing I would want to do is meet up with her when I know I'm on my way out. She would get "stood up" and I would probably laugh about it all the way into the grave, but that's just me.

 

[soon06132022]

This is a really hard question to answer. For me, the only way I wouldn't do it at my scheduled time is if I didn't feel ready, so then I would just schedule it out further and try again.

The love/hate relationship you have sounds very complex. Complex relationships drive me crazy, so in your situation, the last thing I would want to do is meet up with her when I know I'm on my way out. She would get "stood up" and I would probably laugh about it all the way into the grave, but that's just me.

At the core don't all relationships become complex on a long enough timeline? To be honest, it is a complex relationship. We were co-workers, business partners, friends, lovers, and a pair that was never meant to be together. After everything that she has done part of me would also laugh about her being "stood up" although after everything we've done part of me thinks I should wait.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

At the core don't all relationships become complex on a long enough timeline? To be honest, it is a complex relationship. We were co-workers, business partners, friends, lovers, and a pair that was never meant to be together. After everything that she has done part of me would also laugh about her being "stood up" although after everything we've done part of me thinks I should wait.

The only question you have to ask yourself now is, which part of you has the louder voice? The quieter one is usually the best one to listen to in most cases, I think.

 

[soon06132022]

The only question you have to ask yourself now is, which part of you has the louder voice? The quieter one is usually the best one to listen to in most cases, I think.

The quieter voice says that she had her opportunity to meet. Twice. I am not concerned about losing my nerve, as I am resolved to CTB. I do worry about the way my choice will impact her, although I feel like that is more consideration than she deserves.