Help CTB after marriage

[breakingbad]

Hi folks!

I am new here and want input from folks who are married and planning to CTB.
How difficult was the decision and what are the aspects that you had to consider?

 

[autumnal]

Hi folks!

I am new here and want input from folks who are married and planning to CTB.
How difficult was the decision and what are the aspects that you had to consider?

I'm not married, but I'd imagine it is just like weighing up the negative impact upon anyone important in your life against your need to escape the suffering you are enduring.

Presumably the marriage isn't the specific cause of your emotional pain?

 

[breakingbad]

Presumably the marriage isn't the specific cause of your emotional pain?

Actually i am not yet married. But i am seriously giving thought to CTB and figuring out a good time so as to cause minimal drama.
As far as the reason goes, it's mostly my mental issues which i have been dealing with for more than 10 years now.
I am specifically concerned about CTB after marriage because i don't have a timeline for CTB as of yet and i am at a point where i have to take a decision on my relationship going forward.
I don't want to be selfish and at the same time, i don't have the energy to make anyone else understand my state of existence.

 

[autumnal]

Actually i am not yet married. But i am seriously giving thought to CTB and figuring out a good time so as to cause minimal drama.
As far as the reason goes, it's mostly my mental issues which i have been dealing with for more than 10 years now.
I am specifically concerned about CTB after marriage because i don't have a timeline for CTB as of yet and i am at a point where i have to take a decision on my relationship going forward.
I don't want to be selfish and at the same time, i don't have the energy to make anyone else understand my state of existence.

Well, I guess all other things being equal, it's probably wiser not to get married if you currently consider it very likely you will suicide at some point in the future. That's not to say that a relationship and possible marriage might not improve your perspective to the point of deciding not to suicide. But then again, it's never wise to make all your happiness depend on that one thing, because relationships do end.

Probably the healthiest and most cautious thing to do would be to get some therapy and see if you can improve things and change your outlook on the likelihood of future suicide. If you do, then explore or cement your relationships further. If not, then you still have the option to commit suicide without having hopefully gotten so close to a partner that they are significantly affected.

 

[breakingbad]

yeah i totally get what you're saying.
I have tried therapies and a whole lot of other stuff but my mental issues have persisted through everything.
i even hinted to my girlfriend about suicidal thoughts and she seems to be pretty confident that things will change.
she has a fair idea of what i have been through and we vibe well.
i have always observed that whenever i feel a sense of responsibility being bestowed upon me, i tend to drift away from my issues. Atleast for a while.
i have always wondered what triggers CTB thoughts for people who've been married, ofcourse leaving aside those who have issues with their partners.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I was suicidal prior to getting married and it's only made everything worse, because most of my problems are not resolvable. If I could go back in time, I would have just left this world a couple years ago and not formed any new problematic attachments.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I was suicidal prior to getting married and it's only made everything worse, because most of my problems are not resolvable. If I could go back in time, I would have just left this world a couple years ago and not formed any new problematic attachments.

I feel this very strongly. I got married because, for a brief moment in my life, I believed that things could be different and I could have the happy life of which I always dreamed. Now, a few years in, I realize I am in the same boat, only now I've dragged someone else into it. One more person to hurt. I hurt him now because he has to live with my severe depression and host of other issues, and I hurt him in the future when I inevitably ctb. He believed he was making his life better with me, but he would have been better if he never knew me. I wonder every day if he ever regrets the decision.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I feel this very strongly. I got married because, for a brief moment in my life, I believed that things could be different and I could have the happy life of which I always dreamed. Now, a few years in, I realize I am in the same boat, only now I've dragged someone else into it. One more person to hurt. I hurt him now because he has to live with my severe depression and host of other issues, and I hurt him in the future when I inevitably ctb. He believed he was making his life better with me, but he would have been better if he never knew me. I wonder every day if he ever regrets the decision.

Apparently I've made her life worse. So yeah, I feel you.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

My advice would be to go ahead with the marriage. Imagine if you split up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and then ended up living to old age and looked back with regret.

Yes, your spouse will be upset if you ctb, but why not take a shot at happiness? Your spouse doesn't get a guarantee of happiness when they marry. No one does. Marriage is a step into the unknown.