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DrowningWithin

DrowningWithin

Member
Jan 23, 2025
9
Hello,

I've been struggling with the idea of my sister grief if I were to ctb. Last year my brother passed and affected my family. I know the impact of grief. However, my sister and I are very close. Sleep every night together. (My mother needs help paying rent and we're starting college and work.) We grew up with her always taking care of me and a genuine connection. I don't want to hear, "A reason to stay." I love my sister, but I've been holding off for years.

How can I rid myself of this guilt?
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,082
I understand your feelings, my brother is the only thing keeping me here. He's the most important person in my life, we've always been there for each other. The idea of leaving him behind destroys me inside. But I've reached a point of no return, I can't take this suffering anymore. I have no advice for you, this is something you will have to rationalize and overcome on your own. You will have to accept that you are going to hurt your sister, the reality is that this will impact the rest of her life and she will miss you very deeply. But. You can leave her a letter. You can leave her with pictures and videos and memories. If you have sentimental belongings you can leave them to her so she can always have a piece of you. It will still hurt for her to lose you, but you can do small things that she can keep with her for the rest of her life.
 
Boots2Scoots

Boots2Scoots

Piece of dirt
Jan 23, 2025
119
I think that's the hardest part for a lot of us. Whether it's a close friend, family member, or pet. I personally have a quite a few people that hold me back mentally. And my cats... I cry everytime I see them anymore thinking about how they'll think I abandoned them.

Acceptance is key here though. The grief will happen and over time they will all go back to living life. And they will remember you for all the good even through the anger and tears. Hopefully they'll one day accept it and gain understanding that it is something you needed.
 
C

crocune

Student
Nov 27, 2024
141
Hello,

I've been struggling with the idea of my sister grief if I were to ctb. Last year my brother passed and affected my family. I know the impact of grief. However, my sister and I are very close. Sleep every night together. (My mother needs help paying rent and we're starting college and work.) We grew up with her always taking care of me and a genuine connection. I don't want to hear, "A reason to stay." I love my sister, but I've been holding off for years.

How can I rid myself of this guilt?
You can't, really. The best way to get rid of it would be to understand that after you die your consciousness is gone and you are relieved of all your feelings and responsibilities.

How the living will react or live on after your death not only won't affect you but you are incapable of even processing it. Yes your sister and mother will be devastated but what does it matter to you if you're already dead and literally lack a living brain to mentally process it?
 
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