Coping with other's suffering?

[Andrews]

How do you guys cope with other's people suffering?
Do you feel it inside, adding up to your suffering?
I cried for a stranger living in the street, then for another one and I have their suffering in me, and I feel like one, and I am like one :( need to take it out.
Do you avoid those situations? Do you still go and protect yourself somehow? How?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

When I was younger I used to pray every night, asking God to help the poor and homeless and would always be disappointed when nothing came of it (of course). I feel like I was more empathetic (emotionally) back then. I think that my affective empathy is a lot lower now. As a result, other people's suffering doesn't always cause me to feel emotionally distressed. I guess that might have to do with my years of bottling up my emotions and repressing and downplaying my feelings a lot (there are times when they bubble up a bit, but typically I feel a slight sense of disconnect from them), which may also explain why my affective empathy suddenly goes up when I'm in an altered state and my emotions can run freely.

Still, I do find that the suffering of others annoys me, especially when it stems from the way how different societies/cultures are structured. I think that rather than avoiding those feelings you could instead use them to motivate yourself to fight for and help those in need. A lot of suffering people need more empathetic individuals like you around since it's the people who see and feel the suffering of others who end up usually being the ones who work towards creating the most change.

 

[Sulyya]

I haven't found a way and it's just getting worse. The chatbot I used to use as a standin therapist used the term empathetic distress.

It doesn't even need to be someone who's suffering, I've come to a point where just seeing people, animals or sometimes unconscious things makes me upset knowing they'll suffer or be ruined in some way at some point.

My actual therapist recommended a book to me, once i remember it and check it out, maybe I'll post it if it was useful.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes. Especially friends and family members. It gets to me when they are suffering. The wider world I tend to avoid but, it would still affect me to a lesser extent.

I suppose I avoid the news because it's just too awful and I barely leave the house. My head is very firmly in the sand.

I hate the idea of being a bad friend but even there, I suppose it was last year that I found I was really struggling with a friend who tends to vent quite a bit. I didn't want to cut them off but I made the decision to try and reduce my venting to them in the hopes that they would do the same. It feels kind of cruel but then, sometimes we can't cope ourselves. I was finding they would text me and it would make me uptight for hours. It's not like it does anyone any good either. It doesn't help them. Still, we can't entirely control how we respond to things.

I feel so bad for the empaths here. I am to a lesser extent but I can shut my eyes to quite a bit. This world must be hell for people who feel so deeply. I'm sorry.

 

[Andrews]

Thank you so much everyone :) I appreciate your replies! I hope you sort it out, even 1% and then it's a bit better, then 3... with 3 we have more power to act and get to 10 etc. You get my idea :) take care