Help Conflicted about Wanting to CTB. Need advice asap.

[Ob La Dee]

After pondering ending my life for many months now, I have, for the time being, decided not to follow through with it and to check myself into the hospital over the weekend. I came very close to ending it last Friday after a huge disagreement with someone, but after resolving some issues with my kids, I have decided not to do it. I have not thrown away my SN in case I change my mind after I'm discharged, because there is a possibility that this person has caused, or will cause, alot of trouble for me. This is someone I genuinely liked and trusted, and who is going through his own heartache right now. We actually had a suicide pact, so I'm dealing with someone who is not afraid to die, which makes him dangerous. So it's extremely disturbing and painful for me. I almost feel as if I want to make amends with this individual just so he will not cause anymore heartache for me, but I realize that, due to his temper and maturity level, he might not be capable of such high expectations. I have tried my level best to get this situation resolved, but to no avail. Apparently, I am not a good judge of character. Does anyone have any advice for me?

 

[OrcWitch]

My only advice for such people is that in most cases they likely will piss off eventually and find someone new to bother. They thrive off of you trying to resolve the situation. Maybe inform authorities that someone out there wishes to mess with you in matters of mental health.

 

[Ob La Dee]

My only advice for such people is that in most cases they likely will piss off eventually and find someone new to bother. They thrive off of you trying to resolve the situation. Maybe inform authorities that someone out there wishes to mess with you in matters of mental health.

As I said, I have attempted several times to resolve this situation, but this person knows alot about me and could cause alot of heartache for me. In fact, he already has threatened to do so. My attempts to appeal to his better angels have been ignored and I honestly don't know what he is capable of. He has already pissed off and moved along, but I can't rest easy because he refuses to acknowledge what he has done one way or the other and is probably taking great pleasure in it. Ugh...how did I ever get myself involved in this situation? I'm far too trusting.

 

[timf]

Some people will never acknowledge that they did anything wrong. After painful encounters it is best to lick one's wounds, heal, and review what happened to learn what one can in order to avoid future similar encounters.

It has been said that the best education in the world comes from the school of hard knocks, but the tuition is just too high.

It has also been said that while one can learn from his own mistakes, it is much less painful to learn from the mistakes of others.

It sounds like your wounds are fresh and you have a heightened level of caution. This is a natural reaction to protect yourself. That you were pushed so far into emotional distress indicates that you went more than the "extra mile" to make things work and also indicates a giving heart but also one that could learn to make better selections.

You mentioned "make amends". This may not be wise if the other person has a predatory nature, your contact might indicate to him a renewed opportunity to make your life miserable. It may be best to let the dust settle on this and through healing to learn what you can.