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amongst_the_stars

amongst_the_stars

New Member
Aug 6, 2025
1
hey everyone

first time posting here, I've lurked occasionally in the past, but apologies if i mess up terminology

im just looking for some ideas because the whole situation is so damn complicated.

ive been living with a degenerative condition for 14 years now, bedbound for 3, almost entirely alone from irl visitors for 8 months now

and the last few months its declined to the point where even small movement to type on my phone or speak is getting very difficult.
its become apparent i need to start putting things in place to ensure i dont suffer greatly through what could be decades of essentially locked in syndrome, but with incredible pain and sensory issues on top

if i lived in other countries i would have qualified for medically assisted dying, however where i reside currently our laws have no allowance for extreme suffering to override theoretical life expectancy even if that is unlikely to be reached.

basically, i need to find a way out that is either possible for me to organise and perform myself with limited physical capabilities, or one that could be performed with assistance from a loved one that wouldnt implicate them in the process

all of the more active methods are totally ruled out because of my physical state

we had considered sn but believe it to be non viable due to how easily it could be reversed leading to further suffering, as well as difficulties swallowing the required dose
barbiturates did seem like the best option, but they seem to be nearly impossible to acquire now compared to when i first considered them years ago
nitrogen has also been considered but would likely endanger others in the household or implicate someone if they assist
prescription wise it might be possible as i have access to opiods, Gabapentinoids, other sedatives, and antiemetics to make it less messy.
just trying to find anything here
any ideas, suggestions, or knowledge would be very helpful.

im hoping to have this all at least organised and put in place within a month, so that when the time comes i can make that decision.

I hope for the best for all of you. i hope you find peace, in life or in death


unrelated note:
but have any of y'all tried or heard of someone trying mushroom halucinagenic drugs as a way to mentally find peace before going?
Ive been offered them, and i think it may help me find peace and be more settled so that on the day my mind is more ok knowing it will end to avoid regret and panic.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,251
I wish you the best as well and I hope you find peace, I'm sorry you have to suffer so unbearably in this existence that is so cruel, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's so dreadful to me how there's all this suffering.
 
Endlichkeit

Endlichkeit

Member
Feb 26, 2023
86
regarding mushrooms - I'd strongly recommend to try them. If it's done right, you'll experience ego dissolution, and feel one with everything. It's actually like death, because in that state there's no more "you", just pure existence (non-self).
 
developic

developic

Member
Aug 8, 2025
13
.
Hold on life is just like dieing cow asking for Mercy from the butcher who will cut him into peice life didn't joke around with you currently it's time for you to enjoy in life 😀
 
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