Comfort in misery

[weishenme]

Do u also feel comfort in misery? I mean is the only thing I have known for a while and it has become like my my safe space, and I kinda like it now idk if that messed up but yeah

 

[LastNite]

All normal. You get used to it. Plenty of people want to get out of their miserable situation but get too scared because that is not something that theyre comfortable with.

 

[Sheller]

Yes, I like misery before, even find misery life positively....Because it could give me high stimulation. Later, when my life change better, I want to keep away misery

 

[democritusjunior]

Yes, it's certainly normal. It's the people with profound sensitivity to misery, in fact, that are considered mentally ill.

 

[Misanthrope0000]

Almost everyone ik find comfort in misery, it's like a coping mechanism for them, totally normal, if anything I'd argue it's better than letting misery get to you.

I'm the opposite, misery made me more and more suicidal and never found comfort in it,

 

[Forever Sleep]

For a few reasons. For one, there's more consistency. Not the emotional highs of having hope/ briefly feeling happy and then, crashing back down. A pessimistic outlook sometimes prepares me for the worst case scenario happening.

It's also been generally less challenging. In order to be positive/ optimistic in life, I would have had to keep stepping out of my comfort zone. In terms of my actions. In terms of how I presented to other people. It would have meant pretending to be more confident than I was. Which, may have served me better sometimes. It could easily also have put me in a situation way out of my depth though. In which case- failing at that level would have been more catastrophic to my character.

Way back in my 20's, I read a whole bunch of self help books but- even back then, I felt like having to challenge my mindset each time it was negative would be such a headache. I quickly realised I didn't want to change enough for that. So for me- it's partly been laziness.

 

[weishenme]

Sometimes I wished I didn't have to find comfort in misery, ik that I'm able of things but I just don't do cs im comfortable in this situation. And I have lost a lot of people cs of it, cs im not capable of anything at all to sustain a friendship or wtv cs ik the problem is me when in all my relationships Im not close enough and I'm mad that I'm mad for not being that close. I'm just mad everyday of my day, I wish I wasn't, I wish I was able to truly know how to have a friend instead of school friends.

 

[Autumn Blaze]

Do u also feel comfort in misery? I mean is the only thing I have known for a while and it has become like my my safe space, and I kinda like it now idk if that messed up but yeah

I feel comfort in misery sometimes. I believe things can get better for me and my friends a lot but other times it's really dire and I don't know why we're all here.
When my life changes (and it has before) and things are OK, I wanna stay away from the misery. But I want to be attentive to my friends. Real delicate balance if you ask me, to maintain that. It's something alright!

 

[Sakura.]

Yes, it's certainly normal. It's the people with profound sensitivity to misery, in fact, that are considered mentally ill.

Hello! Today is your birthday! Happy birthday! I wish you all the best!

 

[democritusjunior]

Hello! Today is your birthday! Happy birthday! I wish you all the best!

Thank you so much! Funny, you're one of the first people to wish me a happy birthday.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I only really find comfort in sadness when I'm going through an episode of feeling pure emptiness. Which happens quite often when you have bpd. Feeling nothing at all feels horrible.

 

[blackmoldonwall]

I only really find comfort in sadness when I'm going through an episode of feeling pure emptiness. Which happens quite often when you have bpd. Feeling nothing at all feels horrible.

I also have bpd, but i dont quite get what pure emptiness means. How would you describe it? As for me i thought not feeling anything is the baseline if nothing happens to trigger you, i got asked what i feel by psychologist and i always answer i feel nothing, flat. Is that what emptiness is? Or is it a normal thing people experience that i confuse with.

 

[spacefreightergirl]

I also have bpd, but i dont quite get what pure emptiness means. How would you describe it? As for me i thought not feeling anything is the baseline if nothing happens to trigger you, i got asked what i feel by psychologist and i always answer i feel nothing, flat. Is that what emptiness is? Or is it a normal thing people experience that i confuse with.

I have BPD and I'd say it depends. A lot of times I feel bored, but the feeling of "emptiness" is very different from that. I think the feeling of emptiness is very strong and particular, I haven't felt it in a while. It's almost like your body's completely hollow. I'd say it's a little similar to dissociation if you've ever felt that.

If it somehow helps, the last time that it happened someone else was around and they said my eyes looked empty. Apparently this is an actual "phenomenon" that's been noticed in people with BPD (you can look up "bpd eyes"), when you feel that emptiness it is likely visible to others. Your eyes just look dead inside. So if anyone's ever told you that your eyes look off, or you felt your own eyes kind of wear down while you felt that nothingness it's probably that.

 

[blackmoldonwall]

I have BPD and I'd say it depends. A lot of times I feel bored, but the feeling of "emptiness" is very different from that. I think the feeling of emptiness is very strong and particular, I haven't felt it in a while. It's almost like your body's completely hollow. I'd say it's a little similar to dissociation if you've ever felt that.

If it somehow helps, the last time that it happened someone else was around and they said my eyes looked empty. Apparently this is an actual "phenomenon" that's been noticed in people with BPD (you can look up "bpd eyes"), when you feel that emptiness it is likely visible to others. Your eyes just look dead inside. So if anyone's ever told you that your eyes look off, or you felt your own eyes kind of wear down while you felt that nothingness it's probably that.

Ohh that does help. I do experience a lot of dissociation and people keep pointing out that i look like im always zoning out when i dont think i am. BPD wasnt something i expect to be diagnosed with so im pretty unfamiliar with whats normal and what counts as its traits. Thanks for clarifying things out!

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I also have bpd, but i dont quite get what pure emptiness means. How would you describe it? As for me i thought not feeling anything is the baseline if nothing happens to trigger you, i got asked what i feel by psychologist and i always answer i feel nothing, flat. Is that what emptiness is? Or is it a normal thing people experience that i confuse with.

It just feels like pure nothing, like there's a hole in your heart that you can't fill. And no matter what you do that feeling just doesn't go away.

 

[mutsu]

i also have BPD and feel the same way, I usually am fairly miserable when I'm sad but a lot of times when I'm just feeling empty or having a particularly bad epsiode of disassociation then I feel comfortable sometimes. I've already dealt with the fact that I'm going to die sooner rather than later so a lot of times I'm most comfortable in my dissasociated empty state, at least it feels like I'm further from the real world.