• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
itsmeagain

itsmeagain

The Risen (The Fallen)
Jan 28, 2020
355
Google says yes! It seems like my whole life is just one big nonstop hallucination, and the only solution people give me is to SHAKE myself out of it so I can pretend to be normal!

I am not normal. I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel like I over analyze my emotions until I dissociate and collapse in on myself.

My question for you, all of you angels…

How to you STAND it…?! How do you hold on? When you have to work, study… LIVE. How do you live in your moments between now and CTB time…?
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: kunikuzushi, rozeske, Pale_Rider and 5 others
lamy's sacred sleep

lamy's sacred sleep

Death is bliss.
Nov 22, 2024
614
distraction, a whole lot of distraction
 
  • Like
Reactions: moya117, Zyntkalla, hereornot and 4 others
Upvote 0
E

Esc9434

Experienced
Feb 25, 2020
245
Hey, I remember you from back in the day!

I saw someone around here with a similar avatar and thought about you.

I'm sorry about what you are going through right now.
 
  • Love
Reactions: itsmeagain
Upvote 0
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,529
Any kind of stress we have and especially when stress factors become permanent it will have a negative effect on our health - long-term. Some people are more stress resistant than others but imo the only real option you have is to reduce the stress factors or eliminate them if you know what's causing you stress. Meds won't fix the issue.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Informative
Reactions: hereornot, itsmeagain, rozeske and 2 others
Upvote 0
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Mage
Apr 21, 2025
524
Dissociative disorder is a killer.

All you can do is just put one foot in front of the other.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: itsmeagain
Upvote 0
itsmeagain

itsmeagain

The Risen (The Fallen)
Jan 28, 2020
355
distraction, a whole lot of distraction
I can only afford so many…
Dissociative disorder is a killer.

All you can do is just put one foot in front of the other.
My feet are shaking. I hope I find my pace before it's too late.
Any kind of stress we have and especially when stress factors become permanent it will have a negative effect on our health - long-term. Some people are more stress resistant than others but imo the only real option you have is to reduce the stress factors or eliminate them if you know what's causing you stress. Meds won't fix the issue.
I like your opinion. I've been resistant to it for so long but it's finally starting to crack me open. I just have to bide for a little bit more… meds do a lot of good and bad, but…. I wish I was a little more *here* in my head. Thank you for taking time to respond lovely angel.
Hey, I remember you from back in the day!

I saw someone around here with a similar avatar and thought about you.

I'm sorry about what you are going through right now.
Oh darling… I have a welcome back post, and it's rather bitter sweet all things considered… it's nice to talk to you again. If you need someone to speak with, feel free to send me a PM. To think that it's been almost 5 years since I was here. I guess all roads lead to home eventually…
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pale_Rider and lamy's sacred sleep
Upvote 0
rabidbunny

rabidbunny

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•
Apr 16, 2025
23
yeah stress can really distort reality. i guess if its just stress then reducing the cause would help but thats easier said than done ofc. ive never been in a full on psychosis but ive dealt with intense dissociation, some hallucinations, paranoia and scattered weird thoughts due to stress. i couldnt focus in college and it made life even harder. honestly, the only thing that stopped majority of the symptoms were antipsychotic meds but ik not everyone has access. and this might sound silly but one thing that sometimes helped in bad moments was going to the bathroom and splashing myself with really cold water and taking a few deep breaths. id also try to orient myself to my surroundings to get myself back in the present especially when i was in public settings. im not on my meds anymore and only really suffer with dissociation atm so i try distracting myself with cleaning things intensely or collaging or cooking bc idk how to make it go away. i guess any hobby or activity that requires focus would help a bit. Also, sleep is superrrrr important with psychotic symptoms and stress. to this day if i try to pull an all nighter or sleep really late too many days in a row, the symptoms start up. i know how scary and out of control that can feel, you arent alone and i hope you find some relief soon <3.
 
  • Love
Reactions: itsmeagain
Upvote 0
S

Sadbanana

God doesn't care
Aug 20, 2024
53
I probably have it a bit different than you because I never had hallucinations at least not very vivid, but I also sometimes feel psychotic when dealing with too much emotions and stress.

What helped me was to gaslight myself out of it and over time it stopped. As a coping mechanism I was dissociating and rejecting that this is the reality, at first it felt really nice, but over time it got scary. So I just always convinced myself that those are just stupid thoughts and I'm making it up, now I feel like before, terrible but not psychotic🙃. Although sometimes nights feel scary, because right before falling asleep it's really wierd, so it's like I'm scared of sleeping.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: itsmeagain
Upvote 0
itsmeagain

itsmeagain

The Risen (The Fallen)
Jan 28, 2020
355
yeah stress can really distort reality. i guess if its just stress then reducing the cause would help but thats easier said than done ofc. ive never been in a full on psychosis but ive dealt with intense dissociation, some hallucinations, paranoia and scattered weird thoughts due to stress. i couldnt focus in college and it made life even harder. honestly, the only thing that stopped majority of the symptoms were antipsychotic meds but ik not everyone has access. and this might sound silly but one thing that sometimes helped in bad moments was going to the bathroom and splashing myself with really cold water and taking a few deep breaths. id also try to orient myself to my surroundings to get myself back in the present especially when i was in public settings. im not on my meds anymore and only really suffer with dissociation atm so i try distracting myself with cleaning things intensely or collaging or cooking bc idk how to make it go away. i guess any hobby or activity that requires focus would help a bit. Also, sleep is superrrrr important with psychotic symptoms and stress. to this day if i try to pull an all nighter or sleep really late too many days in a row, the symptoms start up. i know how scary and out of control that can feel, you arent alone and i hope you find some relief soon <3.
Thank you for your story, it seems like you and I shared a pretty bad college experience. Sending you hugs and healing vibes even from far away &@@ give a few of them a wack…!
I probably have it a bit different than you because I never had hallucinations at least not very vivid, but I also sometimes feel psychotic when dealing with too much emotions and stress.

What helped me was to gaslight myself out of it and over time it stopped. As a coping mechanism I was dissociating and rejecting that this is the reality, at first it felt really nice, but over time it got scary. So I just always convinced myself that those are just stupid thoughts and I'm making it up, now I feel like before, terrible but not psychotic🙃. Although sometimes nights feel scary, because right before falling asleep it's really wierd, so it's like I'm scared of sleeping.
That sounds like fun! Pretend the world just isn't happening at all… what a comforting thought…
 
Upvote 0
Rynalia

Rynalia

生とは死に至る病そのものだ
Apr 22, 2025
118
It's rarer for me to be lucid than to be dissociated. I don't even live my life much, if at all. Just get dragged around while things happen.

Really fell into that what happens, happens mindset real quickly.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pale_Rider
Upvote 0
Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Mage
Apr 21, 2025
524
Im gonna say yeah. I have DID, and I started out in fantasy to deal with my poverty, and abuse. As a young kid you will develop DID with abuse, but if you are driving down the road bored, and daydreaming you are dissociating. So yes absolutely. of course Im not Dr , just the sufferer har har,. Also my dissociation had made me come to crazy solutions, or assessments to issues that I had. they would conclude those assessments psychotic. So Il say yes on both counts. Its can get more then kinda crazy out on a limb< but they will never see it is the issue.
 
Upvote 0

Similar threads

pone
Replies
5
Views
234
Recovery
pone
pone
amyrel
Replies
7
Views
495
Suicide Discussion
cylus46
cylus46
twistedtransistor69
Replies
3
Views
159
Suicide Discussion
bankai
bankai
monetpompo
Replies
0
Views
218
Suicide Discussion
monetpompo
monetpompo