Can neets date? If so, how?

[Weebster]

I met a girl recently but I'm going to have to make up a job title probably in order to keep her around. I imagine being in your 30s and without a job is bad even if you're attractive and can be fun.

Given how empty my days are, it's hard not to over-text. I forget that most people have full days.

 

[Doombox]

What do you say when people ask, "So what do you do?" Do you really just make stuff up? I ask that as a fellow neet.

 

[Weebster]

What do you say when people ask, "So what do you do?" Do you really just make stuff up? I ask that as a fellow neet.

Sometimes. I realized that being honest just led to rejection. The problem comes if they want a serious relationship. I tell the truth then. And you can't say you're a lawyer because then people will assume you have money.

 

[Doombox]

Sometimes. I realized that being honest just led to rejection. The problem comes if they want a serious relationship. I tell the truth then. And you can't say you're a lawyer because then people will assume you have money.

It just seems like any answer I give leads to a stream of followup questions that makes me want to run screaming out the door. This is a big part of my life that I hate, that I don't have some career that I can smugly wave around.

 

[Weebster]

It just seems like any answer I give leads to a stream of followup questions that makes me want to run screaming out the door. This is a big part of my life that I hate, that I don't have some career that I can smugly wave around.

If I had a career, I wouldn't smugly wave it around. Other people's compliments mean nothing to me.

What followup questions? Pick a job title. Research what they do and there ya go.

 

[Doombox]

If I had a career, I wouldn't smugly wave it around. Other people's compliments mean nothing to me.

What followup questions? Pick a job title. Research what they do and there ya go.

Well I probably wouldn't smugly wave it around either.

 

[Someone123]

I do think that once you lie you can't fix it later, maybe finding a girl who is also on disability would be a better way to go.

 

[Grey-zoner]

Not a NEET, but working part-time and living with parents, plus receding hairline. Good looks fading like a sepia tint.

If you are disabled and that's the reason you're not working, I would explain that--and develop some positive, independent hobbies to offset that situation, maybe get a dog or cat also. The recommendation to date other people on disability also makes a lot of sense. I'm not disabled, just work-shy and with psychological and social issues, but I've thought that dating other people with said issues would make a lot more sense at this point in my early 30s than trying to connect with "normies".

 

[LongtimeLoser]

I listened to a podcast the other day in which a group of people were discussing a lot of the topics/questions that you have been asking over the past several weeks/months.

They came to the conclusion that the beautiful/happy/successful don't mix well with the ugly/bitter/lazy nowadays. It simply rarely goes or ends well. Look at social media today such as TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, etc. If someone sees a picture of a beautiful person, you will see thousands of negative comments. Same for posts from the happy and/or successful.

I'm not really agreeing or disagreeing with them, but they went on to state people should stay in their lane, whatever that is. Otherwise resentment, jealously, negativity, etc is in your future.

Seek out someone similar in luck as you. Don't try to improve your lot. Life isn't an effing fairytale.

BTW, I'm on disability, and I have zero problems dating women. I project confidence. What I do for a living, or what I did for a living in my case, is just a question. Especially when they realize I'm not stupid. I know how to balance a checkbook, have steady sources of income, etc. Why lie? That's so low. Aim higher. Be better. Simply be yourself. Living a fairytale life of getting new bitches every night is ridiculous.

 

[Weebster]

I listened to a podcast the other day in which a group of people were discussing a lot of the topics/questions that you have been asking over the past several weeks/months.

They came to the conclusion that the beautiful/happy/successful don't mix well with the ugly/bitter/lazy nowadays. It simply rarely goes or ends well. Look at social media today such as TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, etc. If someone sees a picture of a beautiful person, you will see thousands of negative comments. Same for posts from the happy and/or successful.

I'm not really agreeing or disagreeing with them, but they went on to state people should stay in their lane, whatever that is. Otherwise resentment, jealously, negativity, etc is in your future.

Seek out someone similar in luck as you. Don't try to improve your lot. Life isn't an effing fairytale.

BTW, I'm on disability, and I have zero problems dating women. I project confidence. What I do for a living, or what I did for a living in my case, is just a question. Especially when they realize I'm not stupid. I know how to balance a checkbook, have steady sources of income, etc. Why lie? That's so low. Aim higher. Be better. Simply be yourself. Living a fairytale life of getting new bitches every night is ridiculous.

Have steady sources of income outside of disability? You're not a neet.

 

[MellowAvenue]

I realized that being honest just led to rejection. The problem comes if they want a serious relationship. I tell the truth then. And you can't say you're a lawyer because then people will assume you have money.

I dunno man, I know this is kind of a generic "no shit" answer but generally speaking people REALLY don't like when you lie. That false career, and any perceived ambition within it, will be part of the foundation on which your relationship is built upon. If/when you have to give up that facade then you risk everything else about it crumbling down hurting her and, possibly, yourself more than if you had been honest in the first place. Even if she looks past it she will remember it's a big lie that you told and trust is hard to ever gain back.

I really don't think you should lie, especially if you have any intention, even just an inkling, of trying to be in a long term relationship with this person.

 

[Weebster]

I dunno man, I know this is kind of a generic "no shit" answer but generally speaking people REALLY don't like when you lie. That false career, and any perceived ambition within it, will be part of the foundation on which your relationship is built upon. If/when you have to give up that facade then you risk everything else about it crumbling down hurting her and, possibly, yourself more than if you had been honest in the first place. Even if she looks past it she will remember it's a big lie that you told and trust is hard to ever gain back.

I really don't think you should lie, especially if you have any intention, even just an inkling, of trying to be in a long term relationship with this person.

Well, my intentions are strictly short-term.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Dating irl as a neet is pretty tough. I found that online dating with someone you formed a deep bond with is easier. That being said, partners will want stability in life, so being a neet is a turn off and will eventually hurt the relationship.

I see dating as having a value system. The more successful in life and more redeemable qualities you have, the better your odds are. Personality alone cannot sustain a relationship.

 

[Weebster]

Dating irl as a neet is pretty tough. I found that online dating with someone you formed a deep bond with is easier. That being said, partners will want stability in life, so being a neet is a turn off and will eventually hurt the relationship.

I see dating as having a value system. The more successful in life and more redeemable qualities you have, the better your odds are. Personality alone cannot sustain a relationship.

Which is why short term is all that's left