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lucretiareverie

lucretiareverie

WELCOME TO WHITE SPACE.
Jan 23, 2025
9
I know I want to CTB. I have never been more sure. Lately, everything has been getting too much to carry and I find myself alone. I know what method I'd use, how I'd do it, but the only thing stopping me is someone seeing my body because I don't live alone. I have made peace with everything, the grief I could cause, dying itself, but I can't get myself to traumatize whoever would find me, because very likely it wouldn't be a first responder. Have any of you felt the same way/how is it preventable? Thank you.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,082
you could go to a hotel, do it in the bathroom and put up a sign saying to call the police. that's what i plan on doing
 
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foreverstardust

Member
Feb 5, 2025
52
Some people schedule emails to be sent to their local police or whatnot, telling them where to come and find their body. If you live with people who tend to wake you up each morning then it would be more difficult, you'd have to find a specific time where you won't be disturbed.
 
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A

ABetterTomorrow

New Member
Feb 18, 2025
3
I too have felt the same way over and over again and again. I live with my family and am really close to my youngest sister and I am aware that she would be the first person to see me if I were to go. And that is what keeps me from committing. Although the difficulties in my life has caused me to think and attempt these painful ways, I couldn't because of my sister and family. There's often at least one person who would miss you if you weren't there. You're never truly alone; there are people who care and want to see you tomorrow. The grief that you believe you might cause isn't worth sacrificing your own life. It's a heavy burden, and it's important to remember that you matter to those around you. I've heard your cry for help and want to help you.
I hope you feel better soon. :}
 
dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
749
I know I want to CTB. I have never been more sure. Lately, everything has been getting too much to carry and I find myself alone. I know what method I'd use, how I'd do it, but the only thing stopping me is someone seeing my body because I don't live alone. I have made peace with everything, the grief I could cause, dying itself, but I can't get myself to traumatize whoever would find me, because very likely it wouldn't be a first responder. Have any of you felt the same way/how is it preventable? Thank you.
I struggle with this too. It's by BF that would find me. He knows I want to CBT and I told him I'm sorry he will be the one to find me body. I'm sure he will be upset at first but he will get over.
 
ShatteredSerenity

ShatteredSerenity

I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
Nov 24, 2024
676
I'm doing it a hotel and my understanding is they've usually seen it before, either suicide or natural death. I read the medical examiner report on local deaths and there are a ton of fentanyl OD's in hotels.
 
NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
481
I'm thinking of ctb at a forest that's not very close to where I live. Someone will find me there eventually, but it's impossible to hide your body from everyone.
 
Grav

Grav

Elementalist
Jul 26, 2020
817
I plan to do it when nobody is home, in my basement. I'd have notes on house and basement doors to not enter and to call the police. I also plan on setting up some kind of sheet so that there's one more block to seeing me. I can't decide on which method and one would be messier than the other so that one would also take more prep work so cleanup isn't as bad.
 
A

areyousafe??

Arcanist
Nov 27, 2024
468
I live by myself but my family will check on me in a few days if they get worried. I have brought a door jammer which jams my door from the inside so that no one will come in. I don't wish to traumatise anyone in finding a dead body.

The police will be notified as I have scheduled an email to be sent after I ctb. Hopefully they will send someone who is used to seeing dead bodies.
 

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