My sentence and paragraph structure may be weird, apologies, its 2 am and I'm still mid-cry. Took me a while to find this site again.
Last year I had plans that failed, in turn I enjoyed my year. I finally made group of friends after pretty much being alone for 12 years, gotten drunk more times than I can count, tried weed, found out I'm a lesbian just 3 months ago, but even with all that I'm back to square one.
My best friend knows of what I'm planning, so we're celebrating her birthday before I go, I just hope my employer approves that 1 free day I want. Of course, she's opposing of my plans, but she needs to prepare, as she has no say in it.
This time, I'm actually preparing. I have methods and plans, but not the location.
SN is still not available to me, I have plans of going pharmacy hopping for all the over the counter meds I can get my hands on, even with a low mortality rate, I have to make everything count. Worst case scenario, I can always buy housecleaning products (ik, it'll be disgusting, but idc at this point)
I'd like to consider myself an artist, but it never went anywhere. I've always wanted to cut intricate patterns on myself but I was always scared by my family finding out, alas, since I'm planning this, might as well feel beautiful one last time, excluding the vital spots.
I want to disappear, or at least not be found fast.
I can't stay home.
How deep in the woods am I supposed to go?
Can I even go to the woods?
Should I leave the country?
What's my best option?
Last year I had plans that failed, in turn I enjoyed my year. I finally made group of friends after pretty much being alone for 12 years, gotten drunk more times than I can count, tried weed, found out I'm a lesbian just 3 months ago, but even with all that I'm back to square one.
My best friend knows of what I'm planning, so we're celebrating her birthday before I go, I just hope my employer approves that 1 free day I want. Of course, she's opposing of my plans, but she needs to prepare, as she has no say in it.
This time, I'm actually preparing. I have methods and plans, but not the location.
SN is still not available to me, I have plans of going pharmacy hopping for all the over the counter meds I can get my hands on, even with a low mortality rate, I have to make everything count. Worst case scenario, I can always buy housecleaning products (ik, it'll be disgusting, but idc at this point)
I'd like to consider myself an artist, but it never went anywhere. I've always wanted to cut intricate patterns on myself but I was always scared by my family finding out, alas, since I'm planning this, might as well feel beautiful one last time, excluding the vital spots.
I want to disappear, or at least not be found fast.
I can't stay home.
How deep in the woods am I supposed to go?
Can I even go to the woods?
Should I leave the country?
What's my best option?
