Help being at home makes me sick

[kindawannacrylol]

I haven't yet moved out of my parents house, (I'm planning to leave after my last year of university). For some reason my suicidal feelings heighten a lot when i'm at home. I can't function or do work and i get extremely tired, i can't sleep either and i just toss and turn and cry and cry and cry. When i am able to sleep i experience nightmares a lot, the themes are usually homophobia, rejection, hell, violence etc. And my migraines start to get worse aswell. I physically can't function and i simply procrastinate for hours and hours, my plans to ctb properly are always close to failing when i'm at home because i get so desperate to end my life i start to look for dangerous and risky ways. I really don't know why this only happens when i'm in my parents house? I could have a really good day but as soon as i come home to this house everything changes dramatically and i can't control my emotions anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so horrible, I'm sorry you have to go through this. Could it be, maybe the fact that you have some painful memories associated with the place that is causing you to feel so awful. I wish you the best, I hope you can move out of there soon.

 

[FadedScarlet]

Nightmares are so awful and I feel for you that you cant find peace when youre sleepin let alone struggling when youre awake. Hugs.