Bawling like a child.

[TheGoodGuy]

I never feel anything anymore no emotions at all only anger. But I decided to watch a 2 minute video clip from when I was 9 years old and I was bawling like a child I can´t remember when I cried to intensely I have watched this video several times before but seeing it again just broke my heart I just want to die.

I want to be a child again so bad! Why can´t I get myself to pull that trigger when i put the pistol to my head I don´t want to live anymore I just want out!

 

[Dor]

I never feel anything anymore no emotions at all only anger. But I decided to watch a 2 minute video clip from when I was 9 years old and I was bawling like a child I can´t remember when I cried to intensely I have watched this video several times before but seeing it again just broke my heart I just want to die.

I want to be a child again so bad! Why can´t I get myself to pull that trigger when i put the pistol to my head I don´t want to live anymore I just want out!

My best memories in life comes from my early childhood, but there's a lot of memories I think I can't access because It would be too painful to remember some of the moments I had with the people that were very dear to me that I got seperated from.

Ugh just typing this made my chest hurt.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

My best memories in life comes from my early childhood, but there's a lot of memories I think I can't access because It would be too painful to remember some of the people that were very dear to me that I got seperated from.

It is painfull to access but also gives a tiny glimpse of happiness. My best friend in childhood I met in daycare we were inseparable he was like a brother to me we had so many fun experiences and adventures together and then we started drifting apart when I was 11 years old. Now I never talk to him or never see him anymore if we ever walk past each other like we did a few years back we just say "hello" I mean how can something change so much? We used to be best friends doing EVERYTHING together and now we feel awkward if we are in the presence of each other. A person I was so comfortable with it just makes no sense at all. Childhood was paradise and adulthood is hell life seriously should just end when puberty starts.